I’m spending a week in the company of a good number of middle school aged children and I’d like to offer my condolences to all of you out there with children this age. At least I get to give them back after seven and a half hours and at the end of the week I don’t ever have to see them again. So far I’ve learned not to give them ANY extraneous information, because they hoard it like squirrels with OCD and will find a way to use it against you at some point. Now, the stuff they’re supposed to remember? Gone in seconds. Off-hand comment about “maybe we’ll eat lunch a little early today?” Cherished like a family heirloom and brought up every two minutes until said lunch time, at which point you’re very nearly to the point of strangling them. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:
8:00 p.m.: “Hell’s Kitchen” on Fox.
“History Special: Who Really Discovered America?” on History. Two-hour special presentation. Nomadic hunters from Eurasia? Vikings? Thetans? I guess we’ll find out.
“Losing It With Jillian” on NBC.
“Pretty Little Liars” on ABC Family.
“Wipeout” on ABC. Third season premiere. I guess that “Wipeout: Blind Date” that happened a few weeks back didn’t really count. Anyway, if you like obstacle courses and public humiliation, this is the show for you.
9:00 p.m.: “America’s Got Talent” on NBC. New two-hour episode.
“Cupcake Wars” on Food Network.
“Deadliest Catch” on Food Network.
“Downfall” on ABC. Series premiere.
“Hawthorne” on TNT. Second season premiere.
“It’s Effin’ Science” on G4.
10:00 p.m.: “Ashes to Ashes” on BBCA.
“Michael Jackson and Bubbles: The Untold Story” on Animal Planet. One hour special presentation. There is just… I refuse to believe that whoever named this show didn’t try and deliberately make it sound salacious. I mean, what kind of untold story could exist between a man and his chimp companion?
“Deadliest Catch” on Discovery.
“Deadliest Warrior” on Spike TV. The episode is “KBG vs. CIA”, are they hacking each other’s computers in warrior fashion? This does not sound exciting.
“The Hills” on MTV.
“Jersey Couture” on Oxygen.
“Kathey Griffin: My Life on the D-List” on Bravo. New time slot.
“Law and Order: Criminal Intent” on USA.
“The Little Couple” on TLC.
“Memphis Beat” on TNT. Series premiere.
“POV: William Kuntsler: Disturbing the Universe” on PBS.
“Primetime” on ABC. Series premiere.
Late Night Listings:
“The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS featuring Regis Philbin and Trombone Shorty & Orleans Ave.
“The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Queen Latifah, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, and Robert Randolph.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Seth Rogen, John Henson, and Dierks Bentley.
“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Valerie Bertinelli and Jerry Ferrara.
“Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Salma Hayek, Jeffrey Donovan, and Herbie Hancock.
“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Cameron Diaz.
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Gloria Steinem.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.