Happy Cinco de Mayo! A relatively minor holiday in its home country, Cinco de Mayo has gained new life in the US as beer and liquor companies have picked up on the fact that it’s very easy to trick gringos into drinking specific beverages for holidays we know absolutely nothing about. Fun facts about Cinco de Mayo: It is not Mexico’s independence day, that is celebrated on September 16th, a day that most Americans do not associate with tequila or Coronas because it doesn’t have a snappy name suitable for drunkenly yelling in bars. However, I’ve got a better reason for celebrating tonight: it’s the 21st birthday of newest Pajiba correspondent, Adam Lyon. So wish him a happy birthday if you haven’t already and, buddy, I owe you a drink whenever I see you. Here’s Wednesday night’s TV:
8:00 p.m.: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW.
“The New Adventures of Old Christine” on CBS.
“Weird or What?: Cocaine Mummies” on Discovery. This title tells me a lot yet nothing at all at the same time. Also, I like how it’s prefaced by “Weird or What?” like anyone would look at whatever a cocaine mummy is and go “No, that’s totally normal. People become mummified by cocaine / make mummies out of cocaine/ are cocaine using mummies all the time. Where have you been?”
8:30 p.m.: “The Middle” on ABC.
9:00 p.m.: “American Idol” on Fox.
“Criminal Minds” on CBS.
“Fly Girls” on The CW.
“Mercy” on NBC.
“Modern Family” on ABC.
“Mythbusters” on Discovery.
9:30 p.m.: “Cougar Town” on ABC.
“Fly Girls” on The CW. First season finale at a special time. These little first season test runs last just long enough that I’m getting to the point where I’m not surprised or bewildered by them whenever I see them on the TV schedule.
10:00 p.m.: “Billy the Exterminator” on A&E.
“CSI: NY” on CBS.
“Happy Town” on ABC.
“In Plain Sight” on USA.
“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC.
“Peep Show” on BBCA.
“Police Woman of Maricopa: Top 10 Takedowns” on TLC. One hour special presentation. I don’t watch this show regularly, because watching shows trying to live up to “Cops” is sad, but watch just an hour’s worth of police women kicking the ass of alleged criminals sounds like something that could be fun in a voyeuristic, “lets make a drinking game out of this” sort of way.
“The Real World/ Road Rules Challenge” on MTV.
“Sunset Daze” on WE.
“Top Chef Masters” on Bravo.
“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS.
“Worst Case Scenario: Burning Car/Boating Accident” on Discovery. Series premiere.
Late Night Listings:
“The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS featuring Jack Hanna, Kerry Washington, and Willie Nelson.
“The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Robert Downey Jr. and Mindy Kaling.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Samuel L. Jackson, Christa Miller, and Godsmack.
“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Scarlett Johansson and Seth McFarlane.
“Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Joel McHale, Nina Dobrev, Rodger Waters, and The New Pornographers.
“Last Call With Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Penn and Teller, Gustavo Arellano, and Fanfarlo.
“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Jon Meacham.
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring David Isay.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.