The drive from Miami to Maryland only took about 17 hours after you factored out the times we stopped for food. The time it took for that cramp in my right thigh that tried to kill me when I got out of the car around 4 a.m. today (“Oh, good, back home and AHHHHH!” as my thigh seized up and nearly sent me plunging face first onto the asphalt) was around 12 hours. I see a nice relaxed night sitting around complaining about what’s on television in my near future. Here’s a taste of what my lovely family will have to hear about:
8:00 p.m.: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW. One hour special presentation called “Chubby Bunny”, which means nothing to me other than being a game where you stuff progressively more marshmallows in your mouth and then try to say “Chubby Bunny” and the person who can say it clearly with the most marshmallows in their mouth wins. Or suffocates. Either way, it’s a fun time for everyone.
“The Good Guys” on Fox. Series premiere on a special night and time.
“Weird or What?” on Discovery. This week is “Human Popsicle.”
8:30 p.m.: “The Middle” on ABC. First season finale.
9:00 p.m.: “American Idol” on Fox.
“Criminal Minds” on CBS.
“Modern Family” on ABC. First season finale.
“Mythbusters” on Discovery
“PBS Special: Ground War: Warrior Weapons.”
9:30 p.m.: “Cougar Town” on ABC. First season finale.
10:00 p.m.: “CSI: NY” on CBS.
“In Plain Sight” on USA.
“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC. 11th season finale. Have Benson and Stabler done it yet or is that still in the air?
“PBS Special: Ground War: Battlefield Mobility” on PBS.
“Primetime: What Would You Do?” On ABC. One hour special presentation.
“The Real World Road Rules Challenge” on MTV.
“Sunset Daze” on WE.
“TLC Special: Accidental Fortune: The Long Lost Camaro” on TLC. One hour special presentation. I… don’t know.
“Top Chef Masters” on Bravo.
“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS.
“The Ultimate Fighter” on Spike TV.
“Worst Case Scenario” on Discovery. For anyone who needs more Bear Grylls in their lives.
Late Night Listings:
“The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS featuring Russell Brand, Johnny “Ace” Palmer, and Stone Temple Pilots.
“The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Eddie Murphy, Carrie Ann Inaba, Bruno Tonioli, and Damian Marley with Nas.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Michael Douglas, Atticus Shaffer, and Reflection Eternal featuring Estelle.
“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Dennis Quaid and Alice Eve.
“Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Jerry Seinfeld, Jesse Eisenberg, and Mumford and Sons.
“Last Call With Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Chuck Palahniuk, Mike Scottie, and Never Shout Never.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.