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Pajiba After Dark: Your Suffering Is Delicious

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | May 18, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | May 18, 2011 |

Again, we’ve got a slew of season finales tonight so many of you can head into this weekend’s alleged Rapture fully caught up on some of your favorite shows. I know a lot of people who would have been super pissed if “America’s Next Top Model” wasn’t resolved before all the fire rains and rivers of lava really got going. Although it might have been fun if they were still filming, because I’m certain Tyra would take the girls out into the apocalyptic wasteland so they could attempt to look fierce while floating down a lava river on a chunk of superheated rock. Because I’m pretty certain Tyra not-so-secretly hates most of the contestants on that show, and watches the dailies of them suffering through these ridiculous shoots while cackling and drinking martinis made with their tears. Here’s your Wednesday night TV:

8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox. Two hour episode. Two hours by three finalists means I’m betting about 15 minutes per finalist and an hour and fifteen minutes of people standing around talking about what just happened or will be happening later. Note: I don’t watch the show, because the time I tried that’s EXACTLY what happened and it was infuriating. Aside from the fact that six years in music school have spoiled me as far as singers are concerned.

“Burma Soldier” on HBO2

“Minute to Win It” on NBC

8:30pm: “NBA Playoffs: Miami at Chicago, Game 2” on TNT

9:00pm: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW. 16th season finale.

“Criminal Minds” on CBS. Sixth season finale.

“Modern Family” on ABC

“Mythbusters” on Discovery

“The Ultimate Fighter” on SpikeTV

“NHL Playoffs: San Jose at Vancouver, Game 2” on Versus

9:30pm: “Extreme Couponing” on TLC

“Cougar Town” on ABC

10:00pm: “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior” on CBS

“Happy Endings” on ABC. I’ve been watching this show (mostly on Hulu) and am enjoying it. I’d been getting worried about it since they’ve been double dipping on episodes (there’s two on tonight as well) but astonishingly, it’s been renewed for a second season. The system works!

“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC. 12th season finale. And so we say goodbye to the avenging angel that is Olivia Benson for another season. I say that like there aren’t marathons of reruns on USA every other weekend where one can bask in her no-nonsense pursuit of justice and well fitted slacks for hours on end.

“Pawn Queens” on TLC

“The Real World” on MTV

“South Park” on Comedy Central

“Top Chef Masters” on Bravo

“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS

10:30pm: “Happy Endings” on ABC

“Pawn Queens” on TLC

“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS

“Workaholics” on Comedy Central

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Keith Olbermann, Julie Bowen, and Ben Harper

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Ed Helms, Chelsea Kane, and Iron & Wine

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Topher Grace, Adam Carolla, and Christina Perri

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Julie Andrews and Little Big Town

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Jim Parsons, Mireille Enos, and the Head & the Heart

“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Jon Shook & Vinny Dotolo, Adam Blackstone, and the Kills

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Richard Beeman

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Austan Goolsbee

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Maya Rudolph, Josh Wolf, Mo Mandel, and Ross Mathews

“Conan” on TBS featuring Bradley Cooper, Chris O’Dowd, and Ryan Hamilton

Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry. If you know someone who may be interested in that specialty, please email her.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.