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Pajiba After Dark: Buy Some Damn Sneakers

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | May 17, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | May 17, 2011 |

The season finale for “Body of Proof” is on tonight and I mention it only because I’ve seen that there’s something of an informal trend happening on TV right now with Medical Examiners in heels. “Bones” has one in the lovely and somewhat inconsistently written Camille Saroyan, “Rizzoli and Isles” practically writes half the show around that premise, and “Body of Proof” appears to be doing likewise. I’m not saying that one cannot be a whip smart and professional lady in stilettos, I’m saying that as someone who wears them on occasion I definitely wouldn’t be wearing them anywhere near decomposing bodies. They like to sink in soft soil and you would run a high risk of getting corpse juice on your feet and I don’t care how used to dealing with bodies you are, that’s extremely icky. Also I’m pretty sure squatting down to get a better look at said body is way harder when you’re teetering on four inches of heel and then you run the risk of just straight up FALLING onto the body and I’m sure at least one of the above mentioned shows has an outtake where that happens and I desperately want to see it. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:

8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC

“Glee” on Fox

“NCIS” on CBS. Eighth season finale. I’d say that all the ladies of a certain age out there who appreciate Mark Harmon will have to find a new crush object for the next few months but USA reruns this shit constantly, so I guess not.

“One Tree Hill” on The CW. Eighth season finale.

“Secrets of the Dead: The World’s Biggest Bomb” on PBS

“NHL Playoffs: Tampa Bay at Boston, Game 2” on Versus

9:00pm: “Braxton Family Values” on WE

“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC

“Deadliest Catch” on Discovery

“Hellcats” on The CW. First season finale.

“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS. Second season finale.

“Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” on History

“Raising Hope” on Fox. First season finale.

9:30pm: “Breaking In” on Fox. First season finale on a special night. Because that’s the way to keep your fans happy.

10:00pm: “16 and Pregnant” on MTV

“Addicted to Food” on OWN

“Chopped” on Food Network

“The Good Wife” on CBS. Second season finale.

“How the States Got Their Shape” on History

“Independent Lens: Beetle Queen Conquers Tokyo” on PBS. Tragically, this is not a micro budget sci-fi movie where a giant mutated female beetle conquers Tokyo Godzilla style. According to the website it “explores the mystery of the development of Japan’s love affair with bugs. Using insects like an anthropologists toolkit, the film uncovers Japanese philosophies that will shift Westerner’s perspectives on nature, beauty, life, and even the seemingly mundane realities of their day to day routines.” I will not be watching this because I have the distinct feeling that if I do I will spend the rest of the evening spraying enough RAID around my apartment to kill a small horse and that’s probably bad for me also.

“Pregnant in Heels” on Bravo

“Sinbad: It’s Just Family” on WE. First season finale.

“Tosh.0” on Comedy Central. Third season summer premiere.

“Toya: A Family Affair” on BET

“The Voice” on NBC

“Body of Proof” on ABC. First season finale.

10:30pm: “Sports Show with Norm MacDonald” on Comedy Central

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Martin Short, Melissa McCarthy, and Tinie Tempah

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Ryan Seacrest, Jordana Brewster, and TV on the Radio

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Betty White and Patton Oswalt

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Randy Jackson, Mario Batali, Death Cab for Cutie, and Robert Randolph

“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Adam Pally, Make Believe, and the Black Angels

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Annie Jacobsen

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Amy Kremer

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Kellan Lutz, Greg Proops, Heather McDonald, and Jo Koy

“Conan” on TBS featuring Norm Macdonald, Todd Phillips, and the Joy Formidable

Intern Rusty has a Masters degree in Music Business and Entertainment Industry. If you know someone who may be interested in that specialty, please email her.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.