Tonight features excellent TV for those of you who like Basketball, misery, or the WWE. For the rest of you, the television offers no respite from the many annoyances of Monday, like discovering that you forgot to set your alarm, that the shirt you wanted to wear needs to be washed, or that the large container of yogurt you bought so you could just put some in a little gladware container to take to work and cut down on the number of those stupid cups you throw away has fruit bits in it, which you hate. OK, maybe that last one is a little bit specific to me, but you get my point. While I mentally reschedule the rest of my week around taking an extra five minutes to run my yogurt through a sieve before eating it (it’s a texture thing, leave me alone) you can go ahead and see what’s on TV this Monday evening:
8:00pm: “Dancing With the Stars” on ABC
“Intervention: Intervention in Depth” on A&E. This is a special about women who are pregnant and addicted. So as tragic as “Intervention” usually is, this will probably be about five times worse.
“Love and Hip Hop” on VH1
“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family
“Taking On Tyson” on Animal Planet. First season finale.
“Too Fat for 15: Fighting Back” on Style
“NCAA Pre-Game” on TruTV
“WWE 2011 Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony” on USA
8:30pm: “Beverly Hills Fabulous” on VH1
9:00pm: “All About Aubrey” on Oxygen
“American Pickers” on History
“Being Human” on SyFy
“Cake Boss” on TLC
“NCAA Men’s Championship” on CBS. I’m given to understand that this game is between Butler and UConn. So, how many of you who did the bracket thing are still in it?
“Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” on Food Network
“The Event” on NBC
“His Way” on HBO. This is a documentary about Jerry Weintraub which, from the synopsis on the HBO website, seems pretty laudatory. So now you know.
“Kidnapped By the Kids” on OWN. Series premiere.
“Make It or Break It” on ABC Family
“Relapse” on A&E. Series premiere.
“Wedding Wars” on VH1
“WWE: Raw” on USA
10:00pm: “Bethenny Ever After” on Bravo. Pet peeve: these “creative” spellings drive me a little bit nuts. As long as it’s pronounced the same way, why burden your child with having to explain to people “No, it’s ‘e-n-n-y’ not ‘a-n-y.’” for the rest of their life? I think there’s like seven different acceptable ways to spell the name “Brittany” now which, why? WHY? What the hell is the point? If there’s four kids named Brittany in the class it doesn’t really make a bit of difference if your kid is Britany, Britney, Byrtny, or Brittini because they all sound the same when the teacher says them and they’ll end up known by their last initial anyway.
“The Hard Times of RJ Berger” on MTV
“Harry’s Law” on NBC. First season finale.
“Heavy: Where Are They Now” on A&E
“Kate Plus 8” on TLC
“Meat and Potatoes” on Food Network
“Nurse Jackie” on Showtime
“Pawn Star$” on History
“Rupaul’s Drag Race” on Logo
“Searching For…” on OWN
“Stargate Universe” on SyFy
“Castle” on ABC
10:30pm: “Rob Drydek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV. Fourth season premiere.
“The United States of Tara” on Showtime
Late Night Listings
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Tracy Morgan, Neve Campbell, and Augustana
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Katie Holmes, Dana Delany, and Bad Religion
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring D.L Hughley and Michelle Monaghan
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring James Franco, Maria Menounos, and Booker T. Jones
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Billy Crystal
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Andrew Chaikin
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring James Marsden, Brad Wollack, Diablo Cody, and Gary Valentine
“Conan” on TBS featuring Russell Brand, Khloe Kardashian, and Roy Wood Jr.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.