We’ve reached the eve of that day that those two people over yonder actually get married which means that one way or another, all this news about dresses and Princess Diana and whatnot ends tomorrow. The wedding itself airs at 6am Eastern time, so those of you west of here can adjust that as necessary to know when to set your alarm for. I’m not planning on watching or participating in any wedding related drinking games because 1. I like sleeping, especially before sunrise and 2. I have to work tomorrow and while my boss may be lenient about a few royal wedding related mimosas, I doubt the officers of Miami-Dade county consider that an acceptable excuse for driving under the influence. Still, I’ll watch the highlights and I hope all of you who are waking up for super early morning wedding gawking have a great time. And those of you who hate the whole mess; it’s almost over. Here’s your Thursday night TV:
7:30pm: “NBA Playoffs: Orlando at Atlanta, Game 6” on NBA TV
8:00pm: “20/20: The Royal Wedding: A Modern Fairytale” on ABC
“American Idol” on Fox
“The Big Bang Theory” on CBS
“Community” on NBC
“NFL Draft: Round 1” on ESPN
“The Making of a Royal Wedding” on TLC
“NBA Playoffs: LA at New Orleans, Game 6” on TNT. Question for the sports fans; in these NBA Playoff listings every other team is only listed by the city but the Lakers are always “LA Lakers” instead of just LA. The discrepancy bugs me, which is why I don’t do it for my column. Is there a real reason for this or not?
“The Vampire Diaries” on The CW
8:30pm: “Rules of Engagement” on CBS
9:00pm: “Bones” on Fox
“CSI: There’s An Awful Lot of Complex Murders in Vegas” on CBS
“Grey’s Anatomy” on ABC
“Nikita” on The CW
“The Office” on NBC. This is the actual last episode for Steve Carrell so get your tissues out, I guess? Even when I watched “The Office” I always had a hard time with Michael because he seemed like an awkward 12 year old boy who had somehow managed to convince everyone he was a real adult and it was just… deeply uncomfortable. I can’t say I’ll miss him, even though I don’t watch the show anymore. Oh, the episode is also 53 minutes long just to piss everyone off.
“Swamp People” on History
“Countdown to the Royal Wedding” on TLC. This is only an hour long. THAT’S NOT A REAL COUNTDOWN, TLC!
9:53pm: “Parks and Recreation” on NBC. And this episode is 37 minutes.
10:00pm: “24 Hour Restaurant Battle” on Food Network
“Manhunters” on A&E
“The Mentalist” on CBS
“Mounted in Alaska” on History
“Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew” on MTV
“The Real Housewives of New York City” on Bravo
“Running Wilde” on FX. I did a double take when I saw this because I was like “Wasn’t that the show with Will Arnett and Keri Russell that wasted both of their talents and was cancelled?” and I’m right. These are the last few episodes that are airing on FX instead of Fox but don’t bother getting attached.
“Private Practice” on ABC
10:30pm: “30 Rock” on NBC
“Secret Diary of a Call Girl” on Showtime
“NBA Playoffs: Dallas at Portland, Game 6” on TNT
11:00pm: “Gigolos” on Showtime
“Son of a Gun” on MTV. Series premiere.
“Watch What Happens Live: Royal Wedding Spectacular” on Bravo
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Dr.Phil McGraw, Chris Hemsworth, and a performance by the Broadway cast of “Catch Me If You Can”
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Chelsea Handler, Judd Apatow, and OK Go
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Sofia Vergara, Manny Pacquiao, and the Airborne Toxic Event
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Tom Selleck and Odette Annable
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Ice-T, Paula Patton, and Tim McGraw
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Mark Burnett, Craig Wedren, and Screaming Females
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring William Cohan
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Wade Graham
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Mary McCormack, Fortune Feimster, Gary Valentine, and Ross Mathews
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. You can also vote for her to be a part of the “American Gods” audiobook here by searching for “Gen” and clicking on the red-head with brown eyes.