I’m exhausted, pretty sure I’m getting sick, and have a headache more often than not. I’d say this was related to the end of the semester, but I think it’s just that May is approaching which basically marks the beginning of summer here in North Cuba and the change of seasons always does screwy things to me. I’m lucky enough to be fleeing town in Mid-May so I don’t have to stick around part of for what one prominent South Floridian writer (Dave Barry) referred to as “Giant Armpit Season” which falls roughly between June and September. You can spot the tourists pretty easily those months because they’re the ones outside. Also, they always look surprised when the afternoon monsoons roll up. Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole jungle meeting the ocean sort of environment down here, but when it’s so humid I have to grow gills to breathe anywhere it’s not aggressively air conditioned, that’s a little much. Anyway, here’s what’s on TV tonight:
8:00 p.m.: “America’s Next Top Model” on The CW.
“Great Performances: Hamlet” on PBS.
8:30 p.m.: “The Middle” on ABC.
9:00 p.m.: “American Idol” on Fox.
“Fly Girls” on The CW.
“Mercy” on NBC. New episode at a special time.
“Modern Family” on ABC.
“Mythbusters” on Discovery. This episode is all about pain tolerance and apparently has some kind of “battle of the sexes” test to see who tolerates pain better. Except from what I saw, the test involves sticking your hand in a bucket of ice water. Look, I have walked 200 meters up a hill with a two-inch hole in my leg bleeding profusely. I have spent two weeks in marching band performing with a pulled muscle in my lower back. I’ve performed orchestra concerts under stage lights with migraines. Pain is an excuse weak people use for failure. But you stick my hand in an ice bucket and I’ll have it back out in under half a second. I really don’t like cold.
9:30 p.m.: “Cougar Town” on ABC.
“High Society” on The CW. First season finale. And not a moment too soon.
10:00 p.m.: “Clean House” on Style.
“What a Tool: Slashers and Crushers” on Discovery.
“Dog the Bounty Hunter” on A&E.
“Happy Town” on ABC. Series premiere.
“In Plain Sight” on USA.
“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC.
“Peep Show” on BBCA. New time slot.
“The Real World / Road Rules Challenge” on MTV. I’ve been wondering this for a while, but is “Road Rules” even still on the air? I remember it from when I was like, 13, but I was unaware that MTV was still inflicting dumb people in RVs on innocent foreign countries.
“South Park” on Comedy Central. 14th season spring finale.
“Top Chef Masters” on Bravo.
“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS.
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS featuring Robert Downey Jr. and OK Go. It’s like they programmed the show just for me!
“The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Chelsea Handler and Aqualung.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Julie Bowen, Craig Robinson, and Dr. Dog.
“Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Michael Caine, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings.
“Last Call With Carson Daly” on NBC featuring David Guetta, The Hit Machine, and RJD2.
“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Ken Blackwell.
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Gregg Easterbrook.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.