I’ve been writing this column for… I don’t know, like a year and a half now? And I still don’t have a handle on how television schedules work which is kind of alarming. Like, “Grey’s Anatomy.” The most recent new episode aired on March 31st and there’s not a new one scheduled until next week. There was another month long break between new episodes from February 24th to March 24th. Now, this isn’t my favorite show by a long shot, but it’s a show that I watch sometimes if I don’t have something better to do on Thursdays and usually keep up with on Hulu on slow Fridays or over the weekend but I still find it incredibly frustrating that there’s these weird gaps in the airing schedule. I can’t imagine how annoying it must be for people who are really invested in the show. Oh, and Happy Easter to everyone celebrating this weekend! I forgot to wish people a happy Passover earlier this week which makes me feel bad, but it’s still going on so I guess I’m not terrible if I say it now. Happy Passover as well! Here’s your Thursday night TV:
7:00pm: “NBA Playoffs: Chicago at Indiana, Game 3” on NBA TV
8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox
“Community” on NBC
“Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: A Tale of Two Princesses” on Lifetime
“NBA Playoffs: Miami at Philadelphia, Game 3” on TNT
“The Vampire Diaries” on The CW
8:30pm: “The Paul Reiser Show” on NBC
9:00pm: “Bones” on Fox
“Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: Kate’s Gown of Renown” on Lifetime. Don’t get excited, they’re just discussing Kate Middleton’s wedding dress options and featuring previous royal wedding dresses.
“Nikita” on The CW
“The Office” on NBC
“Police Women” on TLC
“Swamp People” on History
9:30pm: “Parks and Recreation” on NBC
10:00pm: “24 Hour Restaurant Battle” on Food Network. Second season premiere.
“30 Rock” on NBC
“Archer” on FX. Second season finale. Goddamn but I love this show. Can’t wait for season 3!
“Bear Whisperer” on Animal Planet
“True Hollywood Story: Sarah Palin” on E. I really want to say something about this but me talking about Ms.Palin is like some kind of bat signal for her supporters to come and tell me how I’m not a real American. Or some similar shit. Do y’all have google alerts? Dark marks? Bump-It signals shined into the sky? HOW DO YOU ALWAYS KNOW?!?
“Royal Wedding of a Lifetime: Feast Fit for a Prince and Princess” on Lifetime
“Manhunters” on A&E
“Mounted in Alaska” on History
“Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew” on MTV. Be warned, lovers of dance crew antics, the Black Eyed Peas are performing tonight.
“The Real Housewives of New York” on Bravo
“Ultimate Cleaners” on TLC
10:30pm: “Secret Diary of a Call Girl” on SHowtime
“NBA Playoffs: Dallas at Portland, Game 3” on TNT
11:00pm: “Gigolos” on Showtime. Scuttlebutt on this is that the female “clients” were actually paid to be on the show, because apparently even women who MAY be willing to pay men for sex aren’t willing to be seen doing so on camera. I’m shocked that a “reality” series is not entirely faithful to reality. Guess that’s another monocle I’ll have to replace.
Late Night Listings
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Christoph Waltz, Jessica Capshaw, and Phantogram
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Alfred Molina
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Malin Ackerman, Chris Franjola, Chris Hardwick, and Loni Love
“Conan” on TBS featuring Reese Witherspoon, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and the Head and the Heart
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. You can also vote for her to be a part of the “American Gods” audiobook here by searching for “Gen” and clicking on the red-head with brown eyes.