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Pajiba After Dark: I Bet Birds Don't Braid Her Hair Either

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | April 18, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | April 18, 2011 |

I’m dragging a bit today because last night while I was getting ready for bed the toilet in my half bath started making noises like it was possessed and, having been raised Catholic, I was torn between fleeing the apartment before I became a victim of a tragic yet hilarious accident involving toilet shrapnel and running upstairs to grab a cross to brandish at the offending appliance while yelling “the power of Christ compels you!” It stopped, and apparently was just a water flow problem (…allegedly. I think I’m gonna get some holy water to keep around the house just in case) but I did not fall asleep easily last night. Therefore I don’t have a ton to say about what’s on TV tonight except that there’s a double helping of fawning over Prince William and Kate Middleton’s upcoming wedding and the usual helping of super-misery. Here’s your Monday night TV:

7:00pm: “NBA Playoffs: Philadelphia at Miami” on TNT

8:00pm: “90210” on The CW

“Antiques Roadshow” on PBS

“Chuck” on NBC

“Dancing with the Stars” on ABC

“House” on Fox

“How I Met Your Mother” on CBS

“Intervention In Depth: Heroin Highway” on A&E

“Love and Hip Hop” on VH1

“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family

“Too Fat for 15” on Style

“WWE Tough Enough” on USA

8:30pm: “Beverly Hills Fabulous” on VH1

“Kid in a Candy Store” on Food Network

“Mad Love” on CBS

9:00pm: “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” on Travel. Mr.Bourdain will be in Boston tonight.

“The Bad Girl’s Club” on Oxygen

“The Chicago Code” on Fox

“The Event” on NBC

“Gossip Girl” on The CW

“Kidnapped by the Kids” on OWN

“Make It or Break It” on ABC Family

“American Masters: John Muir in the New World” on PBS

“Quints by Surprise: Turning 2” on TLC

“Relapse” on A&E

“Stargate Universe” on Syfy

“William and Kate” on Lifetime. Original telefilm. I’ve seen commercials for this about how it tells the story of their “fairytale” romance and every time I’m reminded of how much I hate that description of their relationship for so many reasons. The largest of which is, of course, how that “fairytale” narrative turned out for William’s mother. At the same time, though, maybe if more fairytales went something like “And then the girl grew up and went to a very high ranked university where she met a charming young man and they fell in love. After graduation, they had their problems and even separated for a time in order to work through issues, but ultimately they made the decision to marry when they were in their late 20s and had been together nearly a decade. There were also many darling hats. The end.” we’d have a population with a more realistic view of romance. And a better opinion of hats.

“WWE: Raw” on USA

9:30pm: “Mike and Molly” on CBS

“NBA Playoffs: Indiana at Chicago” on TNT

“Cougar Town” on ABC

10:00pm: “20/20: William and Catherine: A Modern Fairytale” on ABC. *sigh*

“Bethenny Ever After” on Bravo

“The Hard Times of RJ Berger” on MTV

“Hawaii Five-0” on CBS

“Kate Plus 8” on TLC

“Law and Order: Los Angeles” on NBC

“Meat and Potatoes” on Food Network

“Nurse Jackie” on Showtime

“Paranormal State” on A&E

“Pawn Star$” on History

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Logo

“Searching For…” on OWN. First season finale.

“Urban Legends” on SyFy

10:20pm: “James May’s Road Trip” on BBCA

10:30pm: “Paranormal State” on A&E

“Games of the North: Playing for Survival” on PBS

“Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory” on MTV

“The United States of Tara” on Showtime

Late Night Listings

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Courtney Cox, Kunal Nayyar, and Jessie J

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Tina Fey, Joe Devito, and Everest

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Robin Wright, Josh Wolf, Natasha Leggero, and Michael Yo

“Conan” on TBS featuring Emma Roberts and Scala & Kolacny Brothers

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. You can also vote for her to be a part of the “American Gods” audiobook here by searching for “Gen” and clicking on the red-head with brown eyes.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.