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Pajiba After Dark: That Seal Looks Equally Dubious of His Qualifications

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | April 12, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | April 12, 2011 |

There are certain shows that I wish weren’t on the air not because I have any informed opinions about them, but because their mere existence makes me aware of certain things I’d rather forget about. Like the “Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” show. Not only am I forced to confront the existence of Larry the Cable Guy every time I write about it, but I am forced to also confront the man’s baffling, nearly inexplicable continued success. Today I found myself wondering if he had ever even really worked as a cable guy and I wanted to punch my brain while yelling “NOT THE POINT!!!” at it. I’d leave it off, but then one of you might turn on the History channel this evening hoping for some good rehashing of how killing Nazis is awesome and then you’d see that and be all “WHY, Intern Rusty, why have you forsaken me?!?” so really this is your fault. Completely. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:

8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC

“Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” on ABC. Second season premiere. I’m amazed how how resistant Americans are to the suggestion that they could improve their diets. Even if you like shitty food (like bacon cheeseburgers and milkshakes, as I do) you pretty much know it’s shitty food and someone pointing out how you can eat better should be more of a “Yeah, I could try that” rather than “HOW DARE YOU!!!!” I will say, though, that the two biggest hurdles healthy food has to get over in this country are price and convenience. Even if you can make a home cooked meal of grilled chicken, steamed veggies, and brown rice for about the same cost as buying a value meal at McDonalds, it takes a lot more time and a certain amount of cooking knowledge that most Americans these days don’t have. I wish Mr.Oliver the best of luck, though.


9:00pm: “Braxton Family Values” on WE. Series premiere.

“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC

“Deadliest Catch” on Discovery. Two hour seventh season premiere.

“Destination Truth” on SyFy

“Frontline” on PBS

“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV

“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS

“Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” on History

“What Not to Wear” on TLC. Eighth season finale.

9:30pm: “Playdates” on Lifetime

“Traffic Light” on Fox

10:00pm: “Addicted to Food” on OWN

“All On the Line” on Sundance

“Body of Proof” on ABC

“Royally Mad: Part 1” on BBCA

“The Good Wife” on CBS

“Jean Michel Basquiet: The Radiant Child” on PBS

“Cheer! Mini All Stars” on Lifetime

“Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen” on SyFy

“Parenthood” on NBC

“Pregnant in Heels” on Bravo

“Sinbad: It’s Just Family” on WE. Series premiere. Man, all those 90s has-beens are getting their own reality shows these days. I’m not sure if the networks are desperate, the stars themselves, or just everyone involved in the whole mess.

“Teen mom: Season 1 Unseen Moments” on MTV

“Top Shot” on History

“Toya: A Family Affair” on BET

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Ricky Gervais, Bjorn Lomborg, and Foo Fighters

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Kristen Bell, Austin “Chumlee” Russell, and Sara Evans

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Emma Roberts, Morgan Spurlock, the latest “Dancing With the Stars” castoff, and Jenny & Johnny

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Wynonna Judd and Ariel Tweto

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Gov. Deval Patrick

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Ray Kruzweil

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Adam Brody, Bill Bellamy, Arden Myrin, and Josh Wolf

“Conan” on TBS featuring Gordon Ramsay, Hayden Panettiere, and Ryan Stout

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.