I bought some alcohol today to make something special for a friend’s birthday and came home to realize I have a staggering variety of alcohol in my possession. This is less because I’m a lush (which I’m not, any more than every grad student kind of is) and more because I tend to buy specific kinds of alcohol for specific projects or moods. Like, I don’t regularly drink peach schnapps, but I made that white wine sangria for a party and so it’s just there, waiting to be made into Fuzzy Navels when I remember to buy orange juice. I run into this with other things too, but with alcohol it’s harder to push it all to the back of the cabinet until you go to move and dig out like, three jars of cloves or something ridiculous. I can’t really tie this into TV except with some kind of lame “You’ll need a drink to get through THIS line up” joke which is just beneath me and all of you so lets move onto the schedule:
8:00 p.m.: “10 Things I Hate About You” on ABC Family.
“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC. Apparently there are rumors that there’s some sort of backhanded vote manipulation happening to keep Kate Gosselin on the show well past her natural expiration date. If that’s true, it will probably be the only thing even mildly interesting I’ve heard about Kate Gosselin ever.
“House” on Fox.
“How I Met Your Mother” on CBS.
“The International Sexy Ladies Show” on G4.
“Life Unexpected” on the CW. First season finale.
“Little People, Big World” on TLC.
8:30 p.m.: “Little People, Big World” on TLC.
“Rules of Engagement” on CBS.
9:00 p.m.: “24” on Fox.
“Gossip Girl” on The CW.
“Intervention” on A&E.
“RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Logo.
“Tough Love” on VH1. Series premiere. Because what VH1 really needs is another shitty reality series where the dregs of humanity will be reassured that they are deserving of America’s attention. I’d say I was going to start boycotting the whole network but I’m pretty sure I don’t watch any VH1 to begin with.
“Trauma” on NBC.
“Two and a Half Men” on CBS.
9:30 p.m.: “The Big Bang Theory” on CBS.
10:00 p.m.: “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” on Travel. This week’s featured location is Maine so I guess he’ll be snacking on Moose Jerky and maple syrup smuggled in from Canada.
“CSI: Miami” on CBS.
“Damages” on FX.
“Nurse Jackie” on Showtime.
“Among the Righteous: Lost Stories From the Holocaust in Arab Lands” on PBS.
“The Price of Beauty” on VH1. Destination this week is Morocco.
“Runaway Squad” on A&E.
“RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked” on Logo.
“Saving Grace” on TNT.
“Castle” on ABC. Starts two minutes late for y’all with the DVRs.
Late Night Listings:
“The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Russell Crowe, Jenna Elfman, and Sade.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Pamela Anderson, Nathan Fillion, and Them Crooked Vultures.
“The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Tim Gunn and Kathy Kinney.
“Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Alan Cumming, Greta Gerwig, Cliff Bleszinski, and Baron Vaughn.
“The Daily Show With Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Bryan Cranston.
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Jeffrey Toobin and Julian Assange.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.