There were a few things I turned over in my mind for April Fool’s jokes. That I would be taking leave from Pajiba immediately to become part of the “Quiverfull” movement with my new fiance, Saul, who believes the internet to be powered by demons and inappropriate for women folk. That I was actually a 55 year old male shut in who’d managed to create and maintain a false internet identity by using photos of his niece. That I’d received a request from Katherine Heigl’s publicist to let her do the column for the evening to help “rehabilitate” her image and and accepted. Eventually, though, I realized it’s a big enough joke that someone who gets only basic cable and who doesn’t own a DVR or Tivo is writing a column about TV. Here’s what’s on tonight:
8:00 p.m.: “Bones” on Fox. Fifth season spring premiere. Woohoo!
“Flash Forward” on ABC.
“Survivor” on CBS.
“The Vampire Diaries” on The CW.
9:00 p.m.: “Fringe” on Fox. Second season spring premiere.
“Grey’s Anatomy” on ABC.
“The Mentalist” on CBS. New episode at a special time. I remember reading something a while ago that said this was the most DVRed show on television. I imagine it’s DVRed so that people can fast forward through the tiresome plots and dialogue and instead create something that could probably be titled “The Simon Baker Looks Quite Dashing in Those Suits Show.”
“Supernatural” on The CW.
10:00 p.m.: “Celebrity Rehab Presents: Sober House” on VH1.
“CSI: Original Formula” on CBS. New episode at a special time. The episode title is “The Panty Sniffer” which makes me very wary and reminds me of the teacher of my “Contemporary Issues in American Society” class in high school who told all the girls who planned to go to college to always sit with their laundry because some guys will go into you laundry to steal your panties for their own perverted purposes. That was an interesting class overall.
“Fugitive Chronicles” on A&E. Series premiere.
“LA Ink” on TLC.
“The Marriage Ref” on NBC.
“Project Runway” on Lifetime.
“Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew” on MTV.
“The Real Housewives of New York City” on Bravo.
“Private Practice” on ABC.
Late Night Listings:
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Sam Worthington, Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic, and Patty Loveless.
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Zachary Levi, Bear Grylls, and Justin Bieber.
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Carey Mulligan, Eva Longoria Parker, and OK Go. Those of you who read my blog will already be aware of this, but I fucking love OK Go. You should watch this show just for them.
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Robin Williams and Jonathan Dancy.
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Ricky Gervais, Mary Lynn Rajskub, and Easton Corbin.
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Victor Rasuk, Amy Purdy, and Mishka.
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Liz Claman.
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Judith Shulevitz.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.