Today is both International Women’s Day and Mardi Gras and as a woman (though not quite an International Woman yet, not sure how to go about that part) and a lapsed Catholic, that gives me two reasons to celebrate tonight. Or, wait, do you celebrate International Women’s Day or do you sit around in quiet contemplation reading depressing articles like I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to do on World AIDS Day? Because I feel like if you are a woman-person (as I am) or are a man who has aligned himself positively with woman-people (in that you’re a believer in gender equality and not in the “so women can see how good they really have it” not actually friendly to women way, like in the “people are people and should all be treated with the same amount of respect and consideration until they prove themselves to be a utter waste of carbon” sort of way) I feel like maybe you should get to celebrate and have some cake. Of course, I tend to believe that there’s rarely ever a BAD reason to celebrate and have some cake, except maybe funerals but even then it sort of depends on who died. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:
7:00pm: “Pitchmen” on Discovery. Second season finale.
8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC
“Glee” on Fox
“Onion Sportsdome” on Comedy Central
“Suze Orman’s Money Class” on PBS. The way this woman spells her name bugs the crap out of me every time I see it. Actually, that’s not quite it; the combination of the spelling and the way she pronounces it which bugs the crap out of me.
9:00pm: “Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” on Travel
“Breaking Down the Bars” on OWN
“Cupcake Wars” on Food Network. Second season finale.
“Dirty Jobs” on Discovery. Seventh season finale.
“Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best?” on WE
“Million Dollar Listing” on Bravo
“Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” on History
“V” on ABC
“What Not to Wear” on TLC
“Raising Hope” on Fox
9:30pm: “Traffic Light” on Fox.
10:00pm: “American Treasures” on Discovery
“Louis Theroux: Johannesburg” on BBCA
“The Game” on BET
“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV
“Lights Out” on FX
“One Born Every Minute” on Lifetime
“Our America with Lisa Ling” on OWN
“The Weavers” on PBS
“The Real Housewives of Miami” on Bravo. I still haven’t watched this show because I’m a little afraid of it, though I’m not sure if I’m more afraid that it showcases my city in a poor light or that theses women are actually representative of “real Miami.” Those two things are not mutually exclusive.
“Southland” on TNT. Third season finale.
“Teen Mom” on MTV
“Tiniest Tween: Kenadie’s Story” on TLC. For those of you who may have seen previous installments of Kenadie’s story and thought to yourselves “Wait, ‘tween’? Did I miss a few years?” you’re not wrong. The girl in question was seven years old at the time of filming which makes her, by all reckoning, a child. And here’s where I start my petition for phasing out of the word “tween” which was stupid even when it was referring to the 10-12 years as sort of a shorthand for that rocky slide into the dark years of teenagerdom. Except in the case of my mother, who uses the term “tweener” to refer to people over the age of 18 but under the age of 21 who come to our family parties where alcohol is served. That actually makes more sense to me because there is an actual distinction needed for that age group, since they’re legally adults capable of making their own decisions and signing contracts and all that good stuff but you’ll get arrested if they leave your house drunk even if you didn’t directly hand them the booze. Yay, America!
“Top Shot’ on History
“Tosh.0” on Comedy Central
“White Collar” on USA. Second season finale.
“Detroit 187” on ABC
Late Night Listings
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Topher Grace and Catherine Deneuve
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Brian Christian
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Dan Sinker
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Henry Rollins, Brad Wollack, Heather McDonald, and Adam Richard
“Conan” on TBS featuring Nigel Marven, Gary Oldman, and Drive-By Truckers
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.