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Pajiba After Dark: Accept No Substitutions

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 29, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 29, 2011 |

Every night I write this column I’m amazed at the sheer amount of television out there. Seriously, most nights I’m listing between 20-30 new episodes of TV and I’m not even listing all of them. Just the ones I figure most people in the Pajiban audience may be interested in/want to spew vitriol about or that are on widely available channels. Who watches all this? Why do these shows exist? Why are so many of them dedicated to pawn shops or similar concepts? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I CAN’T THINK OF GOOD ANSWERS FOR ANY OF THEM. Some days I wonder if we wouldn’t be better off eliminating some of these shows that seem to exist just to give other channels material to air in marathon style chunks on weekends (looking at you, “NCIS” and USA). Or just eliminating the channels themselves. But then I wouldn’t have anything to write about. Hmmmmm. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:

8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC

“Dancing With the Stars” on ABC. When I went to the dentist this morning they had a TV on in view of the chair that featured a “Dancing With the Stars” recap. I can therefore tell you that Kirstie Alley is doing surprisingly well. That’s about the only information I gleaned that made any sense to me before the sound of the drill drowned it out.


9:00pm: “Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” on Travel

“Breaking Down the Bars” on OWN. First season finale.

“Dancing with the Stars” on ABC

“Desert Car Kings” on Discovery

“Destination Truth” on SyFy

“Frontline” on PBS

“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV

“Million Dollar Listing” on Bravo. Fourth season finale.

“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS

“Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” on History

“What Not to Wear” on TLC

9:30pm: “Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV

“Traffic Light” on Fox. So far I still kinda like this show which is starting to make me nervous because it means one of two things; either the show will start getting DRAMATICALLY worse now that I’ve said that or it will be cancelled. That’s just how enjoying shows on Fox works.

10:00pm: “All on the Line: Radenroro” on Sundance. Series premiere.

“Modern Monarchy” on BBCA

“Big Brian: The Fortune Seller” on TruTV

“The Game” on BET. Fourth season finale.

“The Good Wife” on CBS

“Independent Lens: The Elephant” on PBS

“Lights Out” on FX

“Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen” on SyFy

“One Born Every Minute” on Lifetime. First season finale.

“Our America with Lisa Ling” on OWN

“Parenthood” on NBC

“The Real Housewives of Miami” on Bravo. FIrst season finale.

“Teen Mom” on MTV. Third season finale.

“Top Shot” on History

“What the Sell?!” on TLC. Series premiere. I’d like someone to name one example where a pun title for a TV show has been a GOOD thing rather than an infuriating thing that makes you want to throw things.

“Body of Proof” on ABC. Series premiere. With Dana Delaney and dead people. Oh, and heels. Cause all the medical examiner ladies head out to crime scenes featuring ripe bodies in heels. Duh. Anyway, Scully did it first, better, and under significantly weirder circumstances, so I’m not interested.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Snoop Dogg

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Howie Mandel and Dierks Bentley

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Johnny Knoxville, the latest “Dancing with the Stars” castoff, and Britney Spears

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Larry King and Dr.Sanjay Gupta

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Liv Tyler and Copyright Criminal All-Stars

“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Neil Strauss, Death, and Freddie Gibbs

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Miguel Nicolelis

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Dr.Anthony Fauci

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Blake Shelton, Heather McDonald, Jo Koy, and Michael Yo

“Conan” on TBS featuring Paul Giamatti, Olivia Munn, and Panic! At the Disco

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.