6,000 Years Worth of Culture is Delicious
We’ve reached the magical time of year when Easter candy lines the shelves and if you’re lucky enough to live in an area with a good sized Jewish population, there may even be Passover Coke. “What is Passover Coke?” I can hear some of you asking. At the risk of causing the Jewish readers of Pajiba to come after me for revealing this secret to any goyim not already aware of it, Passover Coke is special Coke made in Israel with real sucrose rather than high fructose corn syrup. Very similar to Mexican Coke, for those of you lucky enough to live near the border. Look for yellow caps with Hebrew on them, and double check the label to be sure. It’s absolutely delicious and one of the things I love about spring. Along with Cadbury eggs, Starburst jelly beans and Reeses eggs. I may have a bit of a sweet tooth. Here’s Sunday night’s TV:
7:00 p.m.: “60 Minutes” on CBS.
“America’s Funniest Home Videos” on ABC.
“‘Til Death” on Fox.
7:30 p.m.: “‘Til Death” on Fox.
8:00 p.m.: “The Amazing Race” on CBS.
“Amish Grace” on Lifetime Movie Network. An original “telefilm” (I don’t believe that’s a real word, but apparently spellcheck likes it, so I guess it is) about that awful situation where a gunman shot five Amish school girls before killing himself. Make sure you’ve got a full box of tissues before you start watching, is all I’m saying.
“Frank the Entertainer… in a Basement Affair” on VH1. First season finale.
“Life: Mammals” on Discovery. I’m thinking adorable babies, but also a healthy amount of death will be featured. And I hate the fact that I don’t have an HD TV on which to enjoy any of it.
“Minute to Win It” on NBC.
“The Simpsons” on Fox.
“The Trials of Amanda Knox” on TLC.
8:30 p.m.: “The Cleveland Show” on Fox.
9:00 p.m.: “The Apprentice” on NBC.
“The Family Crews” on BET.
“Family Guy” on Fox.
“Gene Simmons Family Jewels” on A&E. Isn’t Gene Simmons also on this season of “The Apprentice”? So he’s competing against himself for the 9pm time slot? For a guy who seems to pride himself on his business acumen, that seems like poor planning.
“Holmes on Homes” on HGTV.
“Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane” on Style. This is completely shallow, but I kind of want to see what her baby with Djimon Hounsou looks like because I think Kimora is gorgeous and Djimon Hounsou is gorgeous so that baby probably shines like the surface of the sun. But I’d have to watch this show to see the baby and that seems like a big sacrifice.
“Life: Fish” on Discovery.
“Masterpiece!: Sharpe’s Challenge” on PBS.
“The Pacific” on HBO.
“Tool Academy” on VH1.
“Undercover Boss” on CBS.
9:30 p.m.: “The Family Crews” on BET. First season finale.
“Gene Simmons’ Family Jewels” on A&E.
“Songs of Tucson” on Fox.
10:00 p.m.: Breaking Bad” on AMC.
“Cold Case” on CBS.
“Hoarding: Buried Alive” on TLC.
“How to Make It in America” on HBO.
“Jerseylicious” on Style. I have a growing hated for Fergie for introducing the “(insert noun here)licious” trend to our culture.
“Kendra” on E!.
“Kirstie Alley’s Big Life” on A&E.
“River Monsters” on Discovery. One hour special presentation.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.