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Pajiba After Dark: Give Up The World, Give Up Your Life Cause You Cannot Fight the Television

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 20, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 20, 2011 |

It’s been an extremely eventful week out in the world; Japan’s continuing recovery, the beginning of air strikes against Gadhafi (going by the extremely video game/serious action movie name of “Operation Odyssey Dawn”), that polar bear that used to be cute died, and last night the moon was a weensy bit bigger and brighter. Basically a bad time to be someone who writes about television five days a week because anything you write sounds frivolous and inconsequential. Or rather, more frivolous and inconsequential than usual. So here’s your television, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing now:

6:00pm: “NCAA Basketball Tournament: Third Round” on TNT

7:00pm: “60 Minutes” on CBS

“Dateline NBC” on NBC

“NCAA Basketball Tournament: Third Round” on TBS

7:30pm: “NCAA Basketball Tournament: Third Round” on TruTV

8:00pm: “The Amazing Race” on CBS

“America’s Next Great Restaurant” on NBC

“Oprah’s Spring Guide to OWN” on OWN. Wait, this is a show on Oprah’s network where Oprah tells you what you should be watching on the Oprah Network? I’m not sure if that’s meta, wildly egotistical or… I can’t come up with a third possibility.

“Ruby” on Style

“Secret Millionaire” on ABC

8:30pm: “Bob’s Burgers” on Fox

“NCAA Basketball Tournament: Third Round” on TNT

9:00pm: “The Apprentice” on NBC

“Army Wives” on Lifetime

“Ax Men” on History. Fourth season finale.

“Big Love” on HBO. Series finale.

“Charlie Sheen: Bad Boy on the Edge” on Bio

“Californication” on Showtime

“Chopped: All Stars Tournament” on Food Network

“Family Guy” on Fox

“My Fair Wedding with David Tutera” on WE. Fourth season finale.

“Shark Tank” on ABC. Second season premiere. I had completely forgotten the entire premise of this show and briefly thought it was that lawyer show with James Woods but it’s not. After I figured that out I lost whatever interest I had.

“Sister Wives” on TLC

“Undercover Boss” on CBS

9:30pm: “The Cleveland Show” on Fox

“NCAA Basketball Tournament: Third Round” on TBS

10:00pm: “Breakout Kings” on A&E

“Coming Home” on Lifetime

“CSI: Miami” on CBS

“Kourtney and Kim Take New York” on E

“The Real Housewives of Orange County” on Bravo

“Shameless” on Showtime

“Charlie Sheen: On the Brink” on TLC. I’m not so surprised that this is happening about two weeks after Charlie Sheen stopped being even a little bit interesting, because TLC always lags a bit behind the curve. Food Network aired “Ace of Cakes” and TLC follows up a couple seasons later with “Cake Boss.” A&E premieres “Hoarders” and suddenly there’s a show called “Hoarding: Buried Alive” on TLC. “Big Love” is ending? Hey, let’s start a show called “Sister Wives” all about a real polygamist family! (Frankly, with that last one I’m just surprised they didn’t call it “The Real Sisterwives of Salt Lake City” and rip off a respected series and a trash TV franchise at the same time.) So, yeah, makes sense that they’re just coming around to the Sheen thing now.

“Detroit 187” on ABC

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.