Happy St.Patrick’s day, everyone! The day of the year when I get more slightly uncomfortable questions about my ethnic make-up than other days. (It’s the ginger-ness, it’s like a big sign saying “Ask me about my ancestors! Seriously, it’s not intrusive or presumptuous at all.”) It’s also the day when people in the US like to celebrate “Irish culture” by drinking Guinness, wearing green, consuming corned beef and cabbage if they’re really unfortunate, and listening to Flogging Molly and/or Dropkick Murphys. There’s at least one St.Paddy’s day special on tonight, but mostly there’s a lot of basketball which is probably the least Irish sport in the world. Don’t mind me, though, I’m just grumpy because I had an early dentist appointment and had to play the “OH MY GOD YOU’RE LIKE TOTALLY IRISH AREN’T YOU?!?” game earlier than I would’ve liked. I hope you’re all enjoying yourselves. Sláinte. Here’s your Thursday night TV:
6:45pm: “NCAA Basketball Tournament: Second Round” on TBS
7:00pm: “NCAA Basketball Championship: Second Round” on CBS
“Destination Truth: Live From Ireland - the Search for the Banshee Ghost” on SyFy. Y’all? This show is FOUR FREAKING HOURS LONG. If it takes you four hours to find a ghost that’s best known for making a giant racket in order to terrorize people, you’re probably doing something wrong. Or there’s no ghost. Just sayin’.
“Out of the Wild” on Discovery
7:15pm: “NCAA Basketball Tournament: Second Round” on TNT
“NCA Basketball Tournament: Second Round” on TruTV
8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox
“Community” on NBC
“Wipeout: Spring Wipeout” on ABC
8:30pm: “Perfect Couples” on NBC
9:00pm: “Bones” on Fox. I hear tell that Brennan and Booth get locked in an elevator together which either means a long and uncomfortable discussion about feelings OR hot sweaty elevator sex the likes of which Mr.Steven Tyler could tell you about in song. Smart money is on the first possibility, but I’m gonna root for the second because that’s way more fun.
“Kathy Griffin: 50 and Not Pregnant” on Bravo
“The First 48” on A&E
“Man vs. Wild” on Discovery
“Police Women of Cincinnati” on TLC
“Private Practice” on ABC
9:15pm: “NCAA Basketball Tournament: Second Round” on TBS. Listen, there’s a ton of this shit spaced out in really weird ways, so just assume for the rest of the night that TNT, TruTV, and TBS are all showing NCAA.
9:30pm: “Parks and Recreation” on NBC
“NCAA Basketball Tournament: Second Round” on CBS
10:00pm: “30 Rock” on NBC
“Archer” on FX
“Blonde vs. Bear” on Animal Planet. Series premiere.
“Fairly Legal” on USA
“Ice Brigade” on Food Network
“Jersey Shore” on MTV
“Manhunters” on A&E. Third season premiere.
10:30pm: “Outsourced” on NBC
Late Night Listings
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Rainn Wilson, “Epic Meal Time” with Harley Morenstein & Sterling Toth, and Serj Tankian
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Matthew McConaughey, Jena Malone, and Young Dubliners
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Howard Stern, Penn & Teller, and Leon Russell
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Gale Anne Hurd, Mia Moretti & Caitlin Moe, and Lissie & Clare Burson
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. She is sort of Irish in the sense that a long long time ago some people left Ireland and came to the US and had offspring who had offspring and then there was her. She could also be said to be German and Swiss in the same way but they don’t have color coded holidays so it never comes up. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.