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Pajiba After Dark: This Is Cute For Another Two Seconds, Then It's Dinner

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 1, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 1, 2011 |

March is here, so I think some of you are supposed to be having days that resemble either lions or lambs. My day, on the other hand, is not at all wooly or fanged and in fact resembles most of the days we had last month. Which is to say, sunny and clear with a bit of a mild breeze. Sometimes people ask me if I miss seasons here in South Florida and I usually stare at them until they remember why that’s a stupid question. And this time of year, the time when you’re just aching for spring to show up for real and to be able to put your coat and boots away in anticipation of warmer weather and realizing you desperately need some Vitamin D before you either break down sobbing when the grocery store is out of your preferred flavor of yogurt or assault a pedestrian who had the misfortune to point out to you that it looked like rain that day, is one of the biggest reasons I don’t miss seasons. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:

8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox. Special 90 minute episode! Which means no “Glee” so you get real high schoolers who think they’re god’s gift to entertainment instead of actors playing high schoolers who think they’re god’s gift to entertainment.

“The Biggest Loser” on NBC


“No Ordinary Family” on ABC

“One Tree Hill” on The CW

“Onion Sportsdome” on Comedy Central

9:00pm: “Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” on Travel

“Cupcake Wars” on Food Network

“Dirty Jobs” on Discovery

“Hellcats” on The CW

“Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best?” on WE

“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS

“V” on ABC. A while ago someone requested that I watch this show just so I could abuse it for your amusement. So far, I haven’t reached that level of self-loathing yet, but I wanted to know that your request had been heard and is under consideration.

“What Not to Wear” on TLC

9:30pm: “Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” on History

“Raising Hope” on Fox

10:00pm: “American Treasures” on Discovery

“Louis Theroux: Behind Bars” on BBCA

“The Game” on BET

“The Good Wife” on CBS

“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV

“Me Facing Life: Cyntoia’s Story” on PBS

“Lights Out” on FX

“One Born Every Minute” on Lifetime

“Parenthood” on NBC

“The Real Housewives of Miami” on Bravo

“Southland” on TNT

“Teen Mom” on MTV

“Top Shot” on History

“Tosh.0” on Comedy Central

“White Collar” on USA

“20/20: Charlie Sheen: In His Own Words” on ABC. Oh good! Because we haven’t heard enough from Mr.Sheen in the past couple of days.

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Amanda Seyfried, B.J Novak, and a performance by the Broadway cast of “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.” What’s the injured list on the cast up to these days, anyway?

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Matt Damon, Betty White, and Cake

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Emily Blunt, Max Irons, and Aaron Lewis

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Carla Gugino and Tom Lennon

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Isla Fisher, Josh Radnor, and Dan St.Germain

“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Jason Sudeikis, Elgin James, and Freddie Gibbs

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Prince Zeid Raad

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Evan Osnos

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Lil Jon, Shawty Putt, Chuy Bravo, Sarah Colonna, Jo Koy, and Chris Franjola

“Conan” on TBS featuring Piers Morgan, Emmy Rossum, and Nick Griffin

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.