The obnoxious Valentine’s Day advertising/programming is nearing it’s zenith and as much as I love my chocolate in cute little heart shapes with fruity pink fillings you can’t get any other time of year, it’s a bit much, right? If you really care about someone, chances are they don’t need an overpriced teddy bear holding a heart shaped pillow to know it, and if you think that buying some schmaltzy piece of mall jewelry designed by that lady who was on that angel show is going to make up for not being affectionate the rest of the year, I feel sorry for your imminent rude awakening. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:
7:00pm: “Pitchmen” on Discovery
8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC
“Glee” on Fox. I was all “wait, it hasn’t been a week since ‘Glee’ was last on, has it? What day is it? Where are my glasses? Oh, right, I’m wearing contacts.” and then I remembered the special post-Super Bowl airing and that’s why I was all confused. This time. Also, I still haven’t gotten around to watching all of that episode. Whoops.
“NCIS” on CBS
“No Ordinary Family” on ABC
“One Tree Hill” on The CW
“Pioneers of Television” on PBS
9:00pm: “Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” on Travel
“Cupcake Wars” on Food Network
“Hellcats” on The CW
“Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best?” on WE
“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS
“Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy” on History. Series premiere. I’m blaming this show on every last one of you out there who has ever uttered that abhorrent catch phrase in any context, including but not limited to: mockingly, ironically, sardonically and satirically. No excuses.
“Ramsay’s Best Kitchen” on BBCA
“Seriously Funny Kids” on Lifetime
“V” on ABC
“What Not to Wear” on TLC
“Raising Hope” on Fox
9:30pm: “Seriously Funny Kids” on Lifetime
“Traffic Light” on Fox. Series premiere. The commercials make this look somewhat entertaining, but I’m skeptical to say the least.
10:00pm: “1000 Ways to Die” on SpikeTV. Fourth season premiere.
“Chopped” on Food Network
“Fabulous Cakes: Boston” on TLC
“The Game” on BET
“The Good Wife” on CBS
“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV. Second season finale.
“Independent Lens: When I Rise” on PBS
“Lights Out” on FX
“One Born Every Minute” on Lifetime
“Parenthood” on NBC
“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” on Bravo
“Southland” on TNT
“A Stand Up Mother” on WE
“Teen Mom” on MTV
“Top Shot” on History. Second season premiere.
“Tosh.0” on Comedy Central
“White Collar” on USA
“Detroit 187” on ABC
10:30pm: “Onion Sportsdome” on Comedy Central. Y’all seem pretty evenly split on whether this show is good or not. I’ve mostly avoided the debate by not watching it so far.
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Adam Sandler, Chris Colfer, Ty Burrell, and Gang of Four
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Javier Bardem, Paula Abdul, and Merle Haggard
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Matthew Perry, Morena Baccarin, and Pitbull
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Emily Blunt and Dr.Kara Cooney
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Kevin Nealon, Timothy Olyphant, and Little Big Town
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Thomas Lennon, Makeba Riddick, and Jimmy Eat World
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Minka Kelly, Arden Myrin, Jo Koy, and Greg Proops
“Conan” on TBS featuring Craig Ferguson, Kevin Hart, and Red
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.