So the Saints won and the game was awesome and the commercials were kind of terrible in an infantile “Men, aren’t women holding you back from all the things you want because you’ve been emasculated? Well, if you wear Dockers, drive a Charger, buy a pocket television and drink beer, you can recover from the loss of your balls!” sort of way. Which is dumb, because the Super Bowl party I was at (and I suspect many others across the country) featured a pretty even balance of men and women, so it would seem wise not to alienate about 50% of the viewing audience. But this sort of reasoning is probably why I don’t, and never will, work in television. And now football is gone until late August, so there’s no excuse for not spending time interacting with people on Sundays anymore. Its so very sad. As a side note, I bought a bag of Sweethearts today at the store and each and every one of the new flavors is an affront to God. In case you were wondering. Here’s your Monday night television.
8:00 p.m.: “The Bachelor” on ABC.
“Chuck” on NBC.
“For the Love of Ray J: Reunion” on VH1. Last night I tripped over a hazard of working on the internet when I made a reference to the water games aspect of the Ray J/Kim Kardashian sex tape at said Super Bowl party and had the entire party go “WHAT?!?” and whip their heads around to stare at me. Apparently that was not common knowledge. For the record, I researched, and I’m totally right.
“House” on Fox.
“How I Met Your Mother” on CBS. Anyone call that number on the Barney Stinson sign from the Super Bowl promo last night? What happened?
“One Tree Hill” on The CW.
“The Secret Life of the American Teenager” on ABC Family.
“Top Gear” on BBCA.
8:30 p.m.: “Accidentally on Purpose” on CBS.
9:00 p.m.: “24” on Fox.
“Cake Boss” on TLC. Second season finale.
“Celebrity Fit Club” on VH1. Seventh season premiere, 90 minutes long. If any of you are actually going to try and watch this, you are a far braver soul than I.
“Heroes” on NBC. Fourth season finale.
“Intervention” on A&E.
“Life Unexpected” on The CW.
“Operation Repo” on TruTV. Sixth season premiere.
“RuPaul’s Drag Race” on Logo.
“Two and a Half Men” on CBS. I’m waiting for the self destruction of Charlie Sheen to catch up with this show and take in down in a ball of flames.
9:30 p.m.: “The Big Bang Theory” on CBS.
10:00 p.m.: “Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations” on Travel. He’s going to the Hudson Valley in New York. I was unaware they had a particular culinary culture all their own.
“The Buried Life” on MTV.
“Castle” on ABC.
“CSI: Miami” on CBS.
“Damages” on FX.
“Hoarders” on A&E.
“The Jay Leno Show” on NBC.
“Kell on Earth” on Bravo.
“NFL Full Contact” on TruTV. To keep you going in the off season.
“RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked” on Logo.
“Secret Diary of a Call Girl” on Showtime.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.