I apologize for making light of the whole “Snowpacalypse 2: The Snowmageddoning” yesterday because I would never want any of you to think I’m making light of your suffering. To convey just how seriously I am taking the situation, I will not further antagonize you by letting you know just how warm it is here in Miami. Frankly, if you want to torture yourself that way the information is readily available online for anyone who wishes to seek it out. Just try not to check now. Here’s your Thursday night TV:
8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox
“The Big Bang Theory” on CBS
“Community” on NBC
“The Vampire Diaries” on The CW
“Wipeout: Winter Wipeout” on ABC
8:30pm: “Bleep My Dad
“Perfect Couples” on NBC. Anyone actually watched this yet? I haven’t seen a shred of promotion for it which is totally bizarre for NBC.
9:00pm: “Bones” on Fox
“CSI: Making Forensic Science Look Unrealistically Interesting Since 2000” on CBS
“The First 48” on A&E. Perfect for those times you get fed up with overly shiny crime dramas that have plots revolving around super intelligent criminals who stage a personal battle of wits with an unrealistically well rounded yet awkward genius of an investigator. Here’s what you watch to remember that most crime is petty, meaningless, and ugly. Yay, reality!
“Grey’s Anatomy” on ABC
“Masters of Survival” on Discovery
“Million Dollar Listing” on Bravo. Fourth season premiere. How does this show still exist in this economy?
“Nikita” on The CW
“The Office” on NBC
“Police Women of Cincinnati” on TLC
“Royal Pains” on USA
9:30pm: “Parks and Recreation” on NBC
10:00pm: “30 Rock” on NBC
“Ace of Cakes” on Food Network
“Archer” on FX
“Beyond Scared Straight” on A&E
“Fairly Legal” on USA
“Jersey Shore” on MTV
“The Mentalist” on CBS
“The This Old House” on PBS
“Private Practice” on ABC
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Howard Stern and Naughty by Nature
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Jeff Bridges, Dianna Agron, and Bobby Long
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Kim Kardashian, Alex Trebek and One Eskimo
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Matt LeBlanc and David Pogue
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Dana Carvey, Minka Kelly, and Ricky Martin
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Nate Corddry, Troupe Vertigo, and Off!
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Admiral Michael Mullen
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Jane McGonigal
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Josh Wolf, Lavell Crawford, and Heather McDonald
“Conan” on TBS featuring Lisa Kudrow, Mike O’Malley, and Interpol
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She intends to milk that proximal phalanx injury as much as humanly possible.