There’s a very nice conversation happening about (500) Days of Summer and another less easily categorized conversation happening about drinking escapades and I have to be the one to come in here and try to get you all to talk about television. Ugh. Of course, after last night lots of you want to talk about television, just not television I’m familiar with. I have to give a hand to Daniel Carlson, though, doing recaps of both “American Idol” and “Lost” in the same season has to be like drinking a nice wine and grape drink that’s been fermented in the trunk of somebody’s car and trying to do a taste analysis of both. And Bravo brings back its show about cutting hair tonight, which I’ve been seeing commercials for these last two weeks that have made me hate all the contestants right up front. Especially you, chick with French’s Mustard yellow hair, gold sequined jacket, and a giant black bow headband. You look like you’re at least in your late 20’s. Quit it. Here’s what you can dumb yourself down with tonight:
8:00pm: “Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials” on CBS. The whole “I only watch the Super Bowl for the commercials” thing started to wear thin for me when I was in high school. Honestly I can only remember a handful of really interesting commercials that I first saw during the Super Bowl, and half the companies airing ads during the Super Bowl now are making fun of themselves all “Weee! Look, its our Super Bowl Ad!” which goes all the way around meta and straight into annoying as hell.
“Human Target” on Fox. Time slot premiere. Seriously, Fox wants this show to die.
“Mercy” on NBC.
8:30 p.m.: “The Middle” on ABC.
9:00 p.m.: “American Idol: The Best of the Rest” on Fox. Fermented grape drink is making a time slot premiere.
“Criminal Minds” on CBS. I’ve come to the conclusion that if there were as many serial killers as TV writers seem to think there are, the world would be a much less crowded place.
“Friday Night Lights” on DirecTV.
“Ghost Hunters International” on SyFy.
“Launch My Line” on Bravo. First season finale at a special time.
“Man Vs. Food” on Travel. Two hour live presentation, in case you missed out on your yearly quota of eating competitions and need to make it up.
“Man Vs. Wild” on Discovery. Its called “Urban Survivor” so I’m thinking the chances of Bear stripping down are slim in this one. But you never know, he may advise the viewer to earn some quick cash for food by hitting amateur night at a strip club.
“Modern Family” on ABC.
9:30 p.m.: “Cougar Town” on ABC.
“Dog the Bounty Hunter” on A&E.
10:00 p.m.: “CSI: NY” on CBS.
“The Jay Leno Show” on NBC.
“Leverage” on TNT.
“Nip/Tuck” on FX.
“Psych” on USA.
“The Real World” on MTV.
“Shear Genius” on Bravo. Third season premiere. I will most assuredly not be watching.
“Solving History with Olly Steeds” on Discovery.
“Steven Seagal: Lawman” on A&E.
“Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns” on TBS.
“Ugly Betty” on ABC. From a viral video this week, I understand that Hitler feels strongly about the cancellation of this show. I’m not sure why “Ugly Betty” fans would want to advertise that.
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.