Since I’m graduating from graduate school soon (that always looks weird to me), we’re fast approaching the day I will need to find a real job and I’m thinking I won’t like that since right now at the top of my list of “things I want in a real job” is “nap time” and I don’t know of any workplaces that allow that. Even when you’re a preschool teacher I think you’re supposed to stay awake while the little ankle-biters sleep so you can make sure none of them punch each other or steal your wallet or whatever trouble small children are getting up to these days. At that age most of what I did when I was left unsupervised involved ferreting out inappropriate reading materials and climbing things. Good times. Any suggestions other than winning the lottery? Or becoming a trophy wife? Thanks. Here’s your Wednesday night TV:
8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox. Tonight they’re in Hollywood, finally, and the two hour episodes begin. I never feel as disconnected from the average American as I do when “American Idol” is airing.
“The Middle” on ABC
“Minute to Win It” on NBC
“Nova: Sciencenow: Where Did I Come From?” on PBS. I’d heard that sex-ed in school was being oversimplified but I didn’t realize we’d come all the way full circle back to people actually not understanding conception. Is there like a fund I can donate to to fix this?
“Survivor” on CBS. 22nd season premiere.
8:30pm: “Better With You” on ABC
9:00pm: “Criminal Minds” on CBS
“Ghost Hunters International” on SyFy. Second season winter finale.
“Quadrangle” on HBO2
“Man vs. Food” on Travel
“Modern Family” on ABC
“My Strange Addiction” on TLC. First season finale. This week’s incident of pica is someone eating pottery and ashes, and also someone who’s “addicted” to laxatives. I’m convinced that Jamie Lee Curtis is somehow to blame for that second one.
“Nova: Crash of Flight 447” on PBS
“Operation Repo” on TruTV
“Sons of Guns” on Discovery
9:30pm: “Mr.Sunshine” on ABC
10:00pm: “Are We There Yet” on TBS
“Clean House” on Style
“Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior” on CBS. Series premiere. Because apparently Forest Whitaker and Janeane Garafalo didn’t have anything better to do with their time.
“Desert Car Kings” on Discovery
“Face Off” on SyFy
“I Used to Be Fat” on MTV
“Justified” on FX
“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC
“Off the Map” on ABC
“Restaurant: Impossible” on Food Network
“Toddlers and Tiaras” on TLC
“Top Chef” on Bravo
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Bill Hader, Amos Lee, and grocery bagging champ Krystal Smith
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Charles Barkley, Jenni “JWoww” Farley, and Red
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Joely Fisher and Matt Kirshen
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Forest Whitaker, Brandon T. Jackson, Felicia Day, and Odd Future
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Michael Rapaport and Yelawolf
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Brian Williams
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Eric Foner
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Lo Bosworth, Brad Wollack, Natasha Leggero, and Wil Anderson
“Conan” on TBS featuring Martin Lawrence, Fred Armisen, and Reggie Watts
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.