This morning I got to take a shower with a plastic bag over my arm for the first time in weeks and it’s absolute absurd how happy that made me. Until I see some sort of real accomplishment, like Egypt getting their president Mubarak to agree to step down, and I realize just how silly and trivial my life is. Cheerful train of thought, I know, but really nothing out of the ordinary for me. I don’t think I have any Egyptian readers out there or if the internet is even back on in Egypt, but just in case, اتمنى لك كل السعادة. Here’s your Tuesday night TV:
8:00pm: “The Biggest Loser” on NBC
“NCIS” on CBS. It seems like USA runs this show ALL THE TIME some weekends which is irritating because USA is one of my go-to channels for crappy weekend movies.
“One Tree Hill” on The CW
“Pioneers of Television: Crime Dramas” on PBS
9:00pm: “Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” on Travel
“Cupcake Wars” on Food Network
“Dirty Jobs” on Discovery
“Frontline” on PBS
“Hellcats” on The CW
“Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best?” on WE
“NCIS: Los Angeles” on CBS
“Ramsay’s Best Restaurant” on BBCA
“Seriously Funny Kids” on Lifetime. I suppose this is the latest in a long series of knock offs of “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” Because we so needed another one of those.
“V” on ABC
“What Not to Wear” on TLC
“Million Dollar Money Drop” on Fox. First season finale.
10:00pm: “Auction Kings” on Discovery. First season finale.
“Cherry Goes Drinking” on BBCA
“Chopped” on Food Network
“Fabulous Cakes” on TLC
“The Game” on BET
“The Good Wife” on CBS
“Hardcore Pawn” on TruTV
“Independent Lens: For Once in My Life” on PBS
“Lights Out” on FX
“One Born Every Minute” on Lifetime. Series premiere. Ok, so this is a whole show that’s just about women giving birth. The idea of a reality show set in a maternity ward is, to me, absolutely terrifying. Although there is one commercial for this where a new dad is holding his cell phone over an infant so new it’s still all red and kinda smushed looking to take a picture of his freshly emerged progeny and he totally drops the phone on the baby and I laugh. Because it’s funny. And you know the baby was totally fine but the dad probably shit his pants when it happened.
“Parenthood” on NBC
“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” on Bravo
“Southland” on TNT
“Teen Mom” on MTV
“Tosh.0” on Comedy Central
“White Collar” on USA
“Detroit 187” on ABC
10:30pm: “Onion Sportsdome” on Comedy Central
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Matthew Perry, Chris Elliot, and The National
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Olyphant, and One Eskimo
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Jaime Foxx and Sarah Shahi
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Dr.Cornel West and George Clinton
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Ice Cube, Leighton Meester, and Todd Rundgren
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Holt McCallany, Plan B. and Interpol
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Michael Steele
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Leslie Dach and Michael Lewis
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Kevin Nealon, Jo Koy, Michael Yo and John Caparulo
“Conan” on TBS featuring Jennifer Aniston, Nick Offerman, and Peter, Bjorn, & John
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She intends to milk that proximal phalanx injury as much as humanly possible.