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The (Free) Bitches Are Back

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 31, 2010 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 31, 2010 |

Its the last day of January already. How did that happen? I know I happen to exist on special tropical weather time, where the lack of seasons occasionally skews my perception of time, but even I’m a little surprised that we’re surging forward into February already. Now, as those of you who live in places that actually get cold know, February lasts about four times as long as any other month. Or at least it did when I lived somewhere with winter, and having Valentine’s Day stuck there in the middle did not do anything to alleviate the funeral dirge-like quality of the month. But that’s what we’ve got to look forward to in February, well, and the Superbowl next weekend but I’m sure there’s plenty of you who care even less about that. I can tell we’re getting into February because I have a bunch of actual work to do this weekend to help remind me that yes, I am in grad school and I need to shake all that winter break dust out of my head and get down to real work again. Before that happens, though, we’ve got some TV happening to close out January:

7:00 p.m.: “60 Minutes”on CBS.

“America’s Funniest Home Videos” on ABC.

“Dateline” on NBC.

“A Family is a Family is a Family: A Rosie O’Donnell Celebration” on HBO. The word “celebration” in this title is making my brain itch and I’m not quite sure why.

“‘Til Death” on Fox. New time slot.

7:20 p.m.: “NFL Pro Bowl” on ESPN. I know a whole bunch of people going to this game, since it’s being played about 40 minutes north of where I’m sitting right now. I was too broke and apathetic to get a ticket. There’s rain showers predicted tonight. I may gloat just a little.

7:30 p.m.: “‘Til Death” on Fox. New time slot. Man, Fox just hates all of it’s shows that aren’t “24” or made by Seth McFarlane don’t they? They’re constantly moving shit around.

8:00 p.m.: “19 Kids and Counting” on TLC. Special presentation.

“The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards” on CBS. I will be watching this, preferably with a box of wine and a bag of doritos by my side. There’s been some rumors online that the show is going to feature a duet with Lady Gaga and Elton John! I predict televisions across America will explode in balls of sparkles from the sheer levels of fabulosity that will be on display.

“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” on ABC.

“The Simpsons” on Fox.

8:30 p.m.: “The Cleveland Show” on Fox.

9:00 p.m.: “Ax Men” on History.

“Big Love” on HBO.

“Cake Boss” on TLC. One hour special.

“Larry the Cable Guy: Tailgate Party” on Comedy Central. It’ll be like the live action version of that “People of Walmart” website!

“Desperate Housewives” on ABC.

“Family Guy” on Fox.

“Iron Chef America” on Food.

“Saturday Night Live: Sports All-Stars” on NBC.

“Tough Love” on VH1.

9:30 p.m.: “American Dad” on Fox.

10:00 p.m.: “Brothers and Sisters” on ABC.

“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” on E!.

“Las Vegas Jailhouse” on TruTV. This has the potential to be heee-larious or completely boring and awful.

“Little Chocolatiers” on TLC. Series premiere.

“Worst Cooks in America” on Food Network

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.