If I Don't Remember Midnight, Is It Still A New Year?
I hope everyone out there survived their New Years celebrations more or less intact. I’m a bit in the “less” column myself, but I had fun and that’s what’s really important. I think. Anyway we’re diving back into a whole new year of television that is, at least so far, not significantly different than the previous year of television. Kind of anti-climactic really. Now, my newly acquired cast makes it really tricky to type, so with pre-emptive apologies for mistakes, here’s you Monday night TV:
8:00pm: “Antiques Roadshow” on PBS. 15th season premiere. They’re in Miami Beach, which doesn’t make much sense since most of the antiques we have here are people, not furniture. Maybe they’ll go around evaluating people’s meemaws.
“The Bachelor” on ABC. 15th season premiere.
“Enough Already with Peter Walsh” on OWN. Series premiere. Has anyone watched the new Oprah Channel yet? Anyone plan to?
“How I Met Your Mother” on CBS
“Pretty Little Liars” on ABC Family. First season winter premiere.
8:30pm: “Discover Orange Bowl” on ESPN. Listen, nothing against you VT fans, but y’all have some of the ugliest team colors ever. I saw some dude wearing a burgundy and orange houndstooth fedora last night on South Beach and nearly had a damn seizure from the ugly of it all.
“Rules of Engagement” on CBS
9:00pm: “American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior” on Discovery
“The Closer” on TNT. Sixth season finale.
“The Craigslist Killer” on Lifetime. Original telefilm. Classy, Lifetime.
“Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives” on Food Network. 11th season premiere.
“Greek” on ABC Family. Fourth season premiere.
“Intervention” on A&E
“My Big Friggin Wedding” on VH1. First season finale.
“Next Great Baker” on TLC
“Robert E. Lee: American Experience” on PBS
“Two and A Half Men” on CBS. The fact that this show still exists is obviously punishment for the fact that you touch yourself there at night. You know who you are.
“WWE: Raw” on USA
9:30pm: “Mike and Molly” on CBS
10:00pm: “The Best Thing I Ever Ate” on Food Network. Fourth season premiere.
“Castle” on ABC
“Hawaii Five-0” on CBS
“Hoarders” on A&E
“In the Bedroom with Dr.Laura Berman” on OWN. Series premiere.
“Mario Lopez: Saved By the Baby” on VH1. First season finale.
“Men of a Certain Age” on TNT
“The Opener” on TLC. Series premiere.
“Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” on Bravo
“True Life” on MTV
Late Night Listings
“Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Brian Williams and Paula Abdul
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Ron Howard, Snooki, and Sick Puppies
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Patricia Heaton, Brad Womack, and Josh Groban
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC on Gwyneth Paltrow, Wyatt Cenac, Jeff Musial, and Best Coast
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Josh Wolf, Margaret Cho, and Ross Matthews
“Conan” on TBS featuring Christina Aguilera and Zachary Levi
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.