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Winner Gets Taco-Flavored Kisses

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 19, 2011 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 19, 2011 |

Can I tell y’all something? I hate the term “hump day.” Really, truly, passionately. It doesn’t sound sexy, or appealing, it just sounds like a bad time at a middle school dance or what you call a day when your male dog is particularly amorous towards part of your body or an inanimate object. And I hate that every Wednesday I inevitably hear it. It just makes me feel icky. And then makes me feel like I have no sense of humor. That’s my little confession for the evening. Here’s your Wednesday night TV:

8:00pm: “American Idol” on Fox. Two hour tenth season premiere. The kinder gentler version with Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez debuts. I hope it fails miserably and puts this damn franchise out of it’s misery. When was the last time the winner went on to become a legitimate star anyway? I can never keep straight the people who actually won versus the people who lost and then breathed a huge sigh of relief because I’ve heard that contract is a bastard and you probably have a better chance of success if you don’t sign it.

“Live to Dance” on CBS. For those of you who want to protest the lack of Paula Abdul on American Idol.

“The Middle” on ABC

“Minute to Win It” on NBC

“Mystery Diagnosis” on OWN

“Nova: Can We Make It To Mars?” on PBS. I recently read Packing For Mars by Mary Roach and it was absolutely fantastic. It has nothing to do with this documentary, but I just thought I’d share.

8:30pm: “Better With You” on ABC

“Throwdown with Bobby Flay” on Food Network

9:00pm: “Chase” on NBC

“Criminal Minds” on CBS

“Dog the Bounty Hunter” on A&E

“Friday Night Lights” on DirecTV

“Ghost Hunters International” on SyFy

“Man vs. Food” on Travel

“Modern Family” on ABC

“My Strange Addiction” on TLC. The title for this is “Eats Couch Cushion/Furry.” I’m assuming that’s two different people and not just one person but now I’m thinking of Furries snacking on couch cushions. Ew. This is just a gross day all around.

“Nova: Making Stuff Stronger” on PBS

“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS

9:30pm: “Modern Monarchy” on BBCA

“Dog the Bounty Hunter” on A&E

“Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” on TBS. Sixth season finale.

“Cougar Town” on ABC

10:00pm: “Are We There Yet” on TBS

“Blue Bloods” on CBS.

“Celebrity Rehab with Dr.Drew” on VH1. Fourth season finale.

“I Used to be Fat” on MTV

“Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” on NBC

“Off the Map” on ABC

“Restaurant: Impossible” on Food Network. Series premiere.

“Toddlers and Tiaras” on TLC

“Top Chef: Restaurant Wars” on Bravo

Late Night Listings

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Martin Short, Greta Gerwig, and Darius Rucker

“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Amy Poehler, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, and Grace Potter & the Nocturnals

“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Don Rickles, Wilmer Valderrama, and New Politics

“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Emily Deschanel and Rich Fulcher

“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Betty White, Stephen Merchant, and Ariel’s Pink Haunted Graffiti

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Paul Clemens

“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Ron Reagan Jr.

“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Ginnifer Goodwin, Greg Proops, Whitney Cummings, and Ross Mathews

“Conan” on TBS featuring Natalie Portman, Chris Pratt, and Keyshia Cole

Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She promises to stop bitching about her cast at least two days after it’s taken off.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.