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For someone whose sort of job it is to be aware of all the new TV that’s on each weeknight, it’s really a little embarrassing how frequently I just put on some reruns while doing other things around my apartment. This means that I barely pay attention to TV anymore unless it’s something I really want to watch, it’s sort of like a flickering box of lights that makes my apartment feel not so boring for a little while at a time. Is that weird? Actually, don’t tell me, I really don’t care. Here’s your Monday night TV:
8:00pm: “Antiques Roadshow” on PBS
“The Bachelor” on ABC
“Enough Already with Peter Walsh” on OWN. Okay, so use an anonymous name if you must, but can someone tell me if they’re actually watching anything on OWN? Because if I don’t have to list this shit I won’t. I figured for the first week some of you might be intrigued enough to check it out, but I also know we’re not really an Oprah crowd around these parts. Anyway, if you’re into it, let me know and I’ll keep up with the listings because I’m not the one who has to look an OWN fan in the mirror everyday.
“Inside the Actor’s Studio” on Bravo. Jim Carrey is the guest this week. I hope they’ve got someone with a tranq gun in the wings.
“Lie to Me” on Fox
“Pretty Little Liars” on ABC Family
8:30pm: Tostitos BCS National Championship Game” on ESPN
9:00pm: “The Bad Girls Club” on Oxygen. Sixth season premiere.
“Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” on Food Network
“Greek” on ABC Family
“Intervention” on A&E
“Next Great Baker” on TLC
“U.S Grant: Warrior: American Experience” on PBS
“WWE: RAW” on USA
“You’re Cut Off” on VH1. Second season premiere.
10:00pm: “Castle” on ABC
“Hoarders” on A&E. Third season finale. The commercials have been teasing this episode as feature a guy who hoards rats. If the thought of that just made you gag, you should probably steer clear of this episode and just follow the running commentary on Facebook. I may not be participating this time since the two pounds of fiberglass on my left arm really slows up my typing.
“In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman” on OWN
“Men of a Certain Age” on TNT. Second season winter finale.
“The Opener” on TLC
“Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” on Bravo
“True Life: True Life Goes On” on MTV. Season finale.
“The X Life” on VH1. Series premiere.
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Bill Cosby, a Top Ten list presented by Snooki, and the Black Keys. I hear tell that Snooki doesn’t want to go by Snooki anymore since she’s (sort of) an author, but I’ll be damned if I’m typing “Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi” every time she pops up somewhere.
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Randy Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, Ryan Seacrest, Steven Tyler, Dan Adhoot, and Diane Birch
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Cameron Diaz, Scott Foley, and the Wombats
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Roseanne Barr and Joe Theismann
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Winona Ryder, Regina King, and Okkervil River
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring Denis Leary
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Fen Montaigne
“Chelsea Lately” on E featuring Sophia Bush, Brad Wollack, Dov Davidoff, and Arden Myrin
“Conan” on TBS featuring Adam Sandler, Donald Glover, and Guster
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures. She promises to stop bitching about her cast at least two days after it’s taken off.