I’m exhausted. There’s a lot of random things I could rant about for an acceptable amount of page space (In particular, the idea that the iPhone can prevent teenagers from sending each other sexy text messages. Anyone who has spent any time around teenagers is well aware that they can turn event the most mundane words and scenarios into double entendres. Ex: “Hey, can you grab me a cup?” “I’ll grab YOUR cups. Yeah!” Also: 5318008.) but I’ve been having trouble sleeping all week and I’m at the point of just barely managing to function in a socially acceptable manner. If this week were going on any longer, I’d probably end up somewhere in public without pants or wearing my bra on the outside of my shirt and when someone pointed it out I’d respond with “So’s your FACE!” or something equally witty and then pass out while standing up. I’m not saying it’s happened before, but I’m not saying it hasn’t either. On that note, here’s tonight’s TV:
8:00pm: “The Big Bang Theory” on CBS
“Bones” on Fox
“Community” on NBC
“Monica and David” on HBO
“The This Old House Hour” on PBS
8:30pm: “30 Rock” on NBC. Live show!
“Fuck My Dad Says” on CBS. It’s on, CBS. Not like it wasn’t before, but, you know, now it’s super for reals on.
9:00pm: “CSI: I Still Miss Grissom” on CBS
“Destination Truth” on SyFy
“The First 48” on A&E
“Fringe” on Fox
“Grey’s Anatomy” on ABC
“Lottery Changed My Life” on TLC. I can’t believe this is actually a show. I kind of want to know if the intent of this is really to showcase lottery winners and how they dealt with the results of winning or if it’s a giant exercise in schadenfreude where you watch people who won millions of dollars tell you about how they blew it all and now they live in an ally behind a McDonalds and lost all but two non-sequential teeth to meth. You know, like that show about MC Hammer.
“The Office” on NBC
“Project Runway” on Lifetime
“The Real Housewives of DC” on Bravo. Reunion special.
9:30pm: “Outsourced” on NBC
10:00pm: “The Apprentice” on NBC
“The First 48: After the First 48” on A&E
“Food Feuds” on Food Network
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on FX
“Jersey Shore” on MTV. Holy shit, this is still going on?!? Really?!? Maybe it’s just because I remember the veritable party that was thrown when filming ended down here (One of the clubs had a dress code that explicitly stated that anything seen on “Jersey Shore” was unacceptable attire. I assume that went for the stars themselves as well.) but it really seems like this second season has dragged on way longer than the first one did.
“Kick Off Cook Off” on TLC
“The Mentalist” on CBS
“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” on Bravo. Series premiere. I’m not sure why they insist on branding this by location, they could just throw all these women in one place, call it “Spoiled Bitches Act Spoiled and Bitchy” and be done with it.
“Private Practice” on ABC
10:30pm: “Kick Off Cook Off” on TLC
“The League” on FX
“On the Road with Austin and Santino” on Lifetime
Late Night Listings
“The Late Show with David Letterman” on CBS featuring Diddy and Emma Stone.
“The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” on NBC featuring Wanda Sykes, Rick Fox, and Pete Yorn
“Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC featuring Julia Stiles, Damian Marley & Nas
“The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson” on CBS featuring Drew Carey and Jenny Wade
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” on NBC featuring Pee-wee Herman, Joy Bryant, and Ben Folds
“Last Call with Carson Daly” on NBC featuring Amir Bar-Lev, Brad Ludden, and City and Colour
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” on Comedy Central featuring David Rakoff
“The Colbert Report” on Comedy Central featuring Bill Bryson
“Chelsea Lately” on E! featuring Amy Brenneman, Chris Franjola, Arden Myrin, and Kevin Hart
Intern Rusty is a Masters student at the University of Miami. You can learn more about her at Rusty’s Ventures.