Hey y’all. Wednesday again. Boom. It’s Mrs. Pajiba-hyphenate’s 30th Birthday, which I probably shouldn’t say, even if she is super hot for a 25-year-old. But she rarely reads the site — unless I’m mentioning something I shouldn’t be. Like her age. So, I’ll probably be watching “Top Chef” all by myself tonight. Great.

Here are the night’s highlights:

8:00

— “American’s Top Model” is on The CW. Smize, assholes.

— “Hank” premieres on ABC. It’s that Kelsey Grammar sitcom. I’m not holding my breath that it’ll be any good.

— “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” has its second season premiere on TLC. Really? That’s the name of a show?

— “Mercy” on NBC. One of the worst shows of the fall — won’t make it to week six.

— “The New Adventures of the Old Christine,” on CBS.

— “So You Think You Can Dance,” on Fox.

8:30

— “Middle” is on ABC. This is the Patricia Heaton sitcom. I hope she melts in a grease fire.

— “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” has a second episode. You’d think she’d know by now.

9:00

— “Criminal Minds,” in on CBS.

— “Glee” is on Fox, and if there’s one more episode as bad as last week’s, I’m taking back my glowing review of the pilot.

— “King of the Crown” premieres on TLC.

— “Modern Family” on ABC. I can’t wait to see if they keep the pilot episode’s momentum going.

— “Law and Order: SVU” on NBC.

9:30

— “Cougar Town,” on ABC. Please get better.

10:00

— “CSI: NY,” on CBS.

— “Eastwick,” on ABC.

— “Real World/Road Rules Challenge” has its 18th season premiere on MTV. 18!

— “The Jay Leno Show,” on NBC has Steve Carrel.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.