Half a score or ten years ago, your fathers set forth from their garages to their living room couches to watch the Super Bowl XXXVIII halftime show, conceived in a back room at MTV, and dedicated to the American ideal that all men (and some women) are created to be equally horrified by the sight of a naked nipple on television when in the company of wives, parents or other non-pornography related persons. So, you can imagine the horror when, in the middle of a much-hyped musical medley by Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, JT ripped off part of Jackson’s costume, exposing her festively shielded nipple, and causing at least half of America to momentarily lose consciousness…after which they were immediately revived by the nearest non-AARP family member, and directed to the Federal Communications Commission emergency nipple-sighting hotline.
It was a dark day in American history, and one we should never forget. Nipplegate, 2004 (NSFW/C…Anyone. Please view only with your eyes closed):
*All mockery aside, the fallout Ms. Jackson endured after this incident was just a damned shame. Boobs don’t kill people; boobs feed people (or something).