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McDonalds' New Hamburglar Has Gone From Creepy to Flat-Out Sad

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | May 13, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | May 13, 2015 |

When McDonald’s recently introduced their new CoolDad Hipster Hamburglar, the character was met with a general response of “no thank you.” No one wants that. No one wants to see a grown man in a horrible Party City costume running around stealing hamburgers. That’s the thing he’s chosen to do with his life? It just makes me feel sad for the guy. It 100% does not make me want hamburgers.

But if we thought this character could make us want to emulate his life choices and dedicate ourselves to cardboard-resembling meats any less, we were wrong. Because McDonald’s has decided to give us an even deeper look into the spiraling mess of this man’s life. First we got a peak at his take on vigilantism (or something), when he ABANDONS THE BURGERS HE’S MAKING FOR HIS FAMILY TO GO GET OTHER, DEFINITELY MORE TERRIBLE BURGERS.

Then he tried his hand at a bit of funny-making, choosing to go for that 90s gem of gross, lowest common denominator comedy: “Bitches be nagging.”

Hahahahaha! Women, ammirite? Always trying to get dudes to be decent husbands and fathers and people when all they wanna do is steal hamburgers, despite the fact that that makes no sense economically. By the way, McDonald’s says that the fact that this video in no way whatsoever makes you want to buy their food doesn’t make it ineffective marketing. Because it’s not an ad at all! It’s… you know… character development. Or something.

The clip that was posted to Twitter this afternoon wasn’t a commercial. As part of Hamburglar’s takeover of the McDonald’s Twitter account, the short video shows his double life: grabbing Sirloin Third Pound Burgers while keeping his identity under wraps via a call back to his family in the suburbs.

Oh, okay. They’re not trying to sell us anything, they’re just trying to tell us the story of a sad, sad man who ditches what looks to be his child’s birthday party to don a vaguely disturbing costume and post cell phone videos of himself to the McDonald’s Twitter account. Got it.

Via The Verge.

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