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Dancing Paul Rudd and I Fixed the 'Ant-Man' Teaser For You

By Rebecca Pahle | Miscellaneous | January 8, 2015 |

By Rebecca Pahle | Miscellaneous | January 8, 2015 |

The first teaser for Ant-Man landed earlier this week, and… eh. I’m not willing to write the film itself off—bad trailers for good movies have happened before, and they will happen again—but the trailer as a trailer was pretty bad. It’s like all the geniuses Marvel had on deck for Guardians of the Galaxy simultaneously cashed in on their vacation time and were temporarily replaced with interns. I expect that sort of shit from 20th Century Fox, but not here. The trailer almost looks like a parody of superhero movies—all earnest world-saving boilerplate like “YOU! YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE! HERO WITH AN EDGY PAST AND A SHOT AT REDEMPTION! SAVE THE CHILDREN! NO ONE GETS SECOND CHANCES!” Except, like every other superhero.

There were some fun bits—“Is it too late to change the name?” followed by the title card, Evangeline Lilly’s hair, Corey Stoll’s everything—but not nearly enough of them. For Christ’s sake, your movie’s called Ant-Man. The first real look you give the public needs some humor. It needs some zing. It needs some of this:

This post is dedicated to everyone who thought I would never make anything of myself.

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