Here's Everyone You'll Lose Respect For In Woody Allen's Next Movie

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | August 4, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | August 4, 2015 |

Whenever Woody Allen (or Roman Polanski or any number of directors we find despicable) announces a new project, it’s always dumbfounding that there are still actors who want to work with him. But he apparently has unending access to a long line of ingenues who are willing to play the wide-eyed manic pixie personification of inspiration for whatever much older male actor is standing in for Allen’s psyche. We all reeled when Emma Stone wasted her talents and allowed herself to be a mouthpiece for Allen’s fantasies in Magic in the Moonlight. (And then immediately again in Irrational man!) And while I wish we held Colin Firth (and Joaquin Phoenix and all the rest) to the same standards, it really is more surprising that more women don’t refuse to work with him.

So while I would like to expect more from Bruce Willis, Jesse Eisenberg, Corey Stoll, and Paul Schneider (aka Parks & Rec’s Boring Mark), these are the women of Allen’s upcoming untitled film, who apparently don’t have enough of a problem with Woody Allen’s constant misogyny and disturbing personal life to not want to work with him.

Blake Lively

This makes sense. She is malleable (read: bland) and blonde enough to be a Woody Allen magnet.

Kristen Stewart

I was JUST starting to really like her. For someone that has spent the last year being incredibly vocal about how selective she is in the quality of her projects and the people she wants to work with, Woody Allen seems like an odd choice. I imagine she’s hoping this will be another Blue Jasmine. What do we think the odds are she’ll be right? Like none, right?

Jeannie Berlin

You may not immediately recognize Berlin’s name, but she was a supporting actress Oscar nominee in the 1970s for her role in The Heartbreak Kid.

Anna Camp

Be in more things, Anna Camp. But, you know, different things.

Parker Posey

Posey has always come off to me like a hot whirlwind of awesome craziness. I actually hope that’s true, and she makes this whole shoot very, VERY difficult for Wody Allen, who notoriously doesn’t like to talk about acting or answer questions or generally be bothered by anyone.