This TV reboot trend started out kind of fun. Yay, Twin Peaks is coming back!, and HELL YES I NEED A BOY MEETS WORLD SEQUEL (just me? SHUT UP). Then it took a turn for the “huh, OK” with Fuller House and downright “now you’re just trolling us” with Coach 2.0: Dauber of the Dead. So at this point, fuck it, let’s just reboot everything. Some of these could be jokes, some of these are dreams and wishes, some of these could be totally plausible. There is literally no way to tell at this point because TV is silly.
Dr. Katz and Son: Professional Therapists
Dr. Katz started in 1995 but the whole world didn’t fully discover how amazing H. Jon Benjamin is until the last few years (buncha savages) so how perfect would it be to bring back Dr. Katz with his son Ben in tow and have them together treat the comedians of today?
Dawson’s Creek: It’s Basically The Book of Joe
So, Dawson is a Hollywood bigwig now and he wrote a movie about life on the creek with his best friends, but things go awry and he has to move back home and everyone is all mad at him, and Jen is dead. She’s still super dead. So they don’t have to worry about getting Michelle Williams back. This is basically Jonathan Tropper’s The Book of Joe, and so was that show October Road but no one watched that show except my dad I think so no one will notice.
The Still Totes Single Guy
Also, it’s a Weekend at Bernie’s crossover so he’s single because he hangs out with a dead person.
Buffy Season 8+
MAKE IT A SHOW, DAMMIT. EVERYONE IS AVAILABLE.
Roseanne: Forever Alone
Basically this show picks up where the finale left off, with Roseanne just alone and tragic and everyone the saddest they’ve ever been.
Boston So Not Common, Guys
90% of viewers watch it thinking it’s a brand new show and only like 12 of us remember the actual show Boston Common so they could basically just make the same show again.
Caroline in the Suburbs
She was in the city but she’s totally not in the city anymore! SHE LOST SIGHT OF HER YOUNGER SELF. IT IS A STATEMENT OR SOMETHING.
The New Bill Nye: The Science Guy
Seriously, how is this not a thing? The kids of today NEED Bill Nye to tell them about evolution and debunk stupid people and Ted Cruzes.
The Even More Fresher Prince starring Jaden Smith
The trick is we let Jaden write it. Just like he writes his tweets.
I Don't Know If Last Night Was A Dream Or Not.— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 22, 2015
What Is The Definition Of "Light"?— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) March 9, 2015
The More Time You Spend Awake The More Time You Spend Asleep.— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 13, 2015
Like, you’d watch that show.
I just really liked Cybill. We should just bring back Cybill.