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What Do I Do With All This Hate?

By Brian Prisco | Miscellaneous | January 25, 2011 |

By Brian Prisco | Miscellaneous | January 25, 2011 |

I woke up at 5:30 AM and sat on my couch with a great big bottle of Haterade, ready to unleash my venom on the Oscar nominations. I figured they’d fuck up, and blow it, like they always do, snub great performances, make me furious.

But, I just…I got nothing.

Yes, I think it’s completely fucktarded that they opted to make Toy Story 3 an “adapted” screenplay and so it took a place that the more deserving Rabbit Hole should have occupied. That’s a grievous oversight on the part of the voters.

And I don’t understand why there were only four best song nominations. I actually looked it up on the Academy rules and eligibility and the nomination voting process makes about as much logical sense as choosing with chicken bingo. Decapitate a chicken and whatever square it collapses in, dat’s who win! Whatever. I’m just going to pencil in John Legend’s song in the fifth spot in my heart.

I don’t personally think The Kids Are All Right should have gotten as many nominations as it did. I’m kind of surprised Rabbit Hole didn’t get more. And I’m disappointed that Blue Valentine got less love than it deserved. But that’s not too surprising. The Academy always roughs up the little dogs.

But there were so many nice surprises. Jacki Weaver made it for her amazing performance in Animal Kingdom. Winter’s Bone got much deserved love, especially for John Hawkes in the supporting nomination. The King’s Speech really did win over audiences, and perhaps it will triumph over The Social Network goliath that seemed to sweep all the critic’s lists.

I guess I will have to bottle up my outrage for the night of the telecast, when Academy voters who long ago should have died will do their best to fuck everything up for the rest of us. I know it’s suddenly vogue to Humbert any fan of NatPo, but will you really be thrilled if Annette Benning wins? Will gay marriage spontaneously become legal? And, I loved Jeff Bridges’ performance in True Grit, but he doesn’t belong there. And if anyone else beats Colin Firth for best actor, I’m personally going to beat them. I’m in the city, with traffic I can be there in an hour.

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