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The 11 Point Charlie Sheen Life Manifesto

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | February 24, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | February 24, 2011 |

Do not worship false idols. There is only one God. His name is Charlie Sheen. He is a winner. If you want to be a winner like Charlie Sheen, follow the 11 points of his life manifesto. Don’t listen to those AA sissies. That’s a bootleg cult peddling a book of lies. Their success rate is only five percent. Charlie Sheen’s success rate is 100 percent. 100 percent win. Charlie Sheen can cure diseases with his brain. Compared to Charlie Sheen, Thomas Jefferson was a pussy. Charlie Sheen is not a soft target. Charlie Sheen’s life is bitchin’ and perfect, bro.

If you want a perfect life, where you can fly around the world with smokin hotties, stop touching yourself and heed Charlie Sheen’s 11 Point Life Manifesto, as revealed earlier today in an interview with Alex Jones.

1. No panic. No judgement.

2. Leave marriage to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.

3. Don’t stress the fools and trolls who lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their ugly lives.

4. You have the right to kill, but you do not have the right to judge.

5. Don’t give interviews. Leave warnings.

6. Either love, or hate. But you must do so violently.

7. Hate everybody that’s not in your family because they are there to destroy you and they will come at you in all forms and shapes.

8. Don’t live in the middle. That’s where you get slaughtered. Where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen.

9. Hang on to your resentments. They fuel your attack. They fuel the battle cry of your deadly and dangerous and quiet battle soldiers.

10. Look fear right down the barrel.

11. The only thing you should be addicted to is winning.