Lord Baby Godtopus, sitting in your aquatic manger, watching Bubble Guppies and learning about friendship, why did you let The Tutor happen? It has more editing problems than Birdemic, a soundtrack from an episode of The A-Team, a cast straight from a porno reject pile, and a plot even Tommy Wiseau would call incomprehensible.
This trailer is so heinous that I hold it responsible for the following:
1. The Tutor trailer is so far beyond bad that its very existence started global warming.
2. This trailer led to the birth of Justin Bieber.
3. The ripple effect of this trailer broke up Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield.
4. It’s the reason The Office went on for too many seasons.
5. This trailer caused Paris Hilton’s ‘music career’.
6. Someone watched The Tutor and invented meth.
7. Chuck Palahniuk was inspired to write “Guts” after watching this trailer.
8. It made someone think Jaws: The Revenge was a good idea.
9. This trailer caused MC Hammer’s bankruptcy.
10. HOLY SHIT CRISPIN GLOVER WAS IN THIS MOVIE.