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Actually, It's About Ethics In Movies We Haven't Seen

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | August 3, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | August 3, 2016 |



This past Tuesday, August 2nd, the review embargo for Suicide Squad was lifted, meaning that critics who had gone to early press screenings were free to publish all their not-too-friendly words about the movie. And oh boy, were they not at all too friendly. As of writing this, the movie has a 31% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And while most of us probably hear that and think something in the range from “Yeah, no duh” to “Well, that’s too bad,” there’s also apparently a VERY vocal coterie of internet people that simply will not stand for what they see as a great, dark conspiracy around a movie they haven’t seen yet.

A petition was started on Change.org, calling for Rotten Tomatoes to be shut down based on the grounds that, um… they don’t like some movies?

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Once your brain has recovered from the errant punctuation and nonsensical capitalization, I’ll say that the guy who started it has come back to say that he never actually thought the petition would shut down the site; he just wanted to send a message. A message that a website can’t try to destroy DC Comics and Warner Bros! Never mind the fact that the site doesn’t do anything but host the reviews of independent critics. Never mind that Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies are all super highly rated. And DEFINITELY never mind the fact that Warner Bros owns a 30% share of Rotten Tomatoes. THOSE ARE JUST FACTS AND FACTS ARE A TRICK INVENTED BY MARVEL AND HILLARY CLINTON.

I mean, just check out these other low-rated movies that are CLEARLY the victims of the masked conspiracy leaders.

—Ice Age: Collision Course: 12%
They’re obviously just trying to keep audiences away from the climate change conversation! Wake up, sheeple!

Mother’s Day: 7%
Because WHERE’S FATHER’S DAY, HUH?

—I Saw the Light: 21%
Who could be responsible for keeping the rating of a Tom Hiddleston movie so low? I don’t know, do the names KIM AND KANYE mean anything to you?

Terminator: Genysis: 25%
This is just plain ageism. Or spelling-ism.

Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas: 0%
Typical Christian persecution, obviously.

If you’re wondering if the Suicide Squad petition is Victory, then yes, it is definitely delivered Victory delivered.

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I mean, how could it not be Victory with this kind of support?

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