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According to the ‘New Girl’ Cast, the Upfronts Are Basically a Week-Long Kegger

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | May 12, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | May 12, 2014 |

We’re already hearing a lot of news coming out of this year’s upfronts: cancellations, renewals, new shows’ trailers. But for any of us who were under the naive assumption that the upfronts were a professional event designed to allow networks to present their fall schedules and securing advertising, the cast of New Girl is here to let us know that we’re stupid and oh-so-naive. Apparently it’s actually closer to a week-long bender. Like a television network bachelor party. The show’s cast was asked to give advice for getting through the event, and Hannah Simone talked about the importance of networking, Max Greenfield tells everyone to take a chill pill, and Zooey Deschanel did a great impression of my mom sending me off to college (“Make it through the day: drink lots of coffee, wash your hands, take some vitamins.”)

But Damon Wayans Jr. opens up to give some practical advice, and seems to be speaking from experience.

Don’t drink too much because you’re going to have to do interviews and you don’t want stuff in print — sarcasm doesn’t translate into print.

Lamorne Morris also wants us to learn from his mistakes.
Wear something comfortable and casual and don’t drink too much — I’ve already made that mistake. It’s a nightmare when you drink [like] crazy — especially when you are in New York. I lived in New York for a little bit, and you don’t want to drink too much because you walk too much — and that’s not fun. And don’t sleep with strange women or strange dudes.

But for the ultimate advice on drinking to excess, always listen to Nick Miller.
Hydrate, don’t drink too much early. There will be an event that starts at 11 [that] inside it will feel like a party; it’s not, you’ve got a long day ahead of you — pace yourself. There’s not much that you have to do, but you have to do everything. So, slow and steady wins the race at upfronts.

So when is Joe Swanberg going to make a movie starring Jake Johnson, about drunken Upfronts escapades? Soon, right?

Via The Wrap.

When Vivian Kane plays True American, it’s Clinton Rules all the way.

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