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"Why Is Everyone's Answer to Any Problem to Sing? Has That Ever Worked?"

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 11, 2015 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 11, 2015 |

Empire on Fox at 9:01pm ET. The promo for this shows that we’ll be dealing more with Andre’s illness, Hakeem’s relationship with Naomi Campbell (I know that’s not her name in the show, but come on), and… a random hostage situation because why not! It disappoints me a bit because I think this show is strongest when it focuses on the family dynamic, especially the push/pull between Cookie and Lucious, but given all the other primetime soaps its competing against and their bombastic tendencies I know they can’t leave well enough alone. Oh! And it looks like Cookie’s drunken attempt at seducing Malcom will pay off!

Black-ish on ABC at 9:31pm ET.

The Americans on FX at 10:00pm ET. I haven’t kept up with this, but I’ve seen some promos that indicate that they may be getting ready to reveal the truth to Paige and try and turn her. Which means that the very grown-up, 100% adult spy thriller is now going to have a concurrent plot line straight out of every YA novel: “Today, I found out that I am not who I thought I was. My parents aren’t who I thought they were. My country is not what I thought it was. Today I found out I’m different, that I’m special, that I can make a difference. Today I learned my true history, and that my future is so much bigger than I ever imagined.” Seriously, producers, get in touch, I can totally get a four book tie-in series out of this to help groom the next generation of The Americans viewers AND set up a possible spin off series. I’ve already got some ideas for two love interests in the form of a kind-hearted American boy who makes Paige question whether she wants to live up to her brutal destiny, and a dangerous yet magnetic Russian boy who pushes her beyond her limits mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Hindsight on VH1 at 10:00pm ET. First season finale.

Broad City on Comedy Central at 10:30pm ET.

Genevieve Burgess needs cookie cutters shaped like ankle boots for her Empire finale party.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.