Haha, Cause He's Seal, Get It? And Sharks Eat Seals? This All Feels Unnecessary.
Sharktacular 2017 on Discovery at 8:00pm ET. Hey, it’s Shark Week again! Do we still get excited about Shark Week? Or is it one of those things that the internet ruined with hyperbolic enthusiasm that ended up in a place that was both inherently absurd and crassly commercial, like bacon, latte art, certain podcasts and I could probably go on but I know you might have your own examples. Anyway, Shark Week! Maybe? Michael Phelps is gonna race a shark! Which just seems like a situation that insults both Michael Phelps AND sharks. I’m not feeling it this year.
Claws on TNT at 9:00pm ET. I haven’t watched this yet because I don’t believe in watching TNT series as series. The only way to experience them is as a day long marathon one weekend when you’re avoiding plans. But let me know if it’s, like, “avoiding theoretical plans/chores” good or “cancelling actual plans” good, if you’re watching.
Fear the Walking Dead on AMC at 9:00pm ET. Two-hour third season summer finale.
Amelia Earhart: Finding the Lost Evidence on History at 9:00pm ET.
Candy Crush on CBS at 9:02pm ET. Last week CBS lost Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park from Hawaii Five-0 because it wouldn’t pay them as much as Alex O’Loughlin and Scott Caan despite the fact that they were DEFINITELY doing more work than Caan and at least as much as O’Loughlin in recent seasons. Now they have a game show based on an app designed to scam people for money. It’s not a great month for CBS.