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Shaq Should Make Friends With an Actual Bear

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 29, 2016 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | August 29, 2016 |

American Ninja Warrior on NBC at 8:00pm ET. It’s the national finals!

Fashion Police: The 2016 MTV Video Music Awards on E! at 8:00pm ET. Come on, now, this is just like shooting fish in a barrel.

Rizzoli & Isles on TNT at 9:00pm ET.

Nazi Secret Files on AHC at 10:00pm ET. First season finale. This episode is called “Nazi Jihad” which is giving me a headache just thinking about it, so I felt compelled to share.

Running Wild with Bear Grylls on NBC at 10:00pm ET. The guest this week is Shaq, and I feel like if this were an ACTUAL survivalist show, a man of Shaq’s stature in the wild would go one of two ways; 1. His bulk allows him to live on a very meager diet for longer than anyone else and he comes out down about 150lbs but basically fine, since he’s so huge to begin with. Or 2. He consumes Grylls and the entire camera crew, because when you’re as big as Shaq, a “restricted calorie diet” is probably still around 3,000 a day. But we all know that everyone on this show has an entire fleet of SUVs with basically an entire REI store in them following them around off camera, right?

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.