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"Say 'Timey-Wimey' Again, I Dare You."

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | June 22, 2014 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | June 22, 2014 |

World Cup 2014: United States vs. Portugal on ESPN at 6:00pm ET. GET HYPED! While you still can, even their coach has said the US Men aren’t going for the big prize. Also, it still bugs me that the US Mens National Team doesn’t have a kicky nickname like the Socceroos or Les Bleus, or the Oranje. Suggestions welcome.

Enlisted on Fox at 7:00pm ET. Series finale. Cue up Taps.

Wipeout on ABC at 7:00pm ET. Two hour, seventh season premiere.

The Musketeers on BBCA at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. A good chance to acquaint yourself with Peter Capaldi, who will be playing Doctor Who later this summer. Unlike the most recent versions of the Doctor, Peter Capaldi is neither young nor particularly handsome (he’s got a face a bit like an old boot) but if you’ve ever seen In The Loop or The Thick of It you’ll know that he’s a veritable Olivier of swearing. I dearly DEARLY hope they find a way to work this into the new season of Doctor Who. It is unlikely to come into play as he plays Cardinal Richelieu in this series.

True Blood on HBO at 9:00pm ET. Seventh season premiere. The final season of vampires being sexy and ridiculous. Along with werewolves being sexy and ridiculous, and faeries being sexy and ridiculous, and shape-shifters being sexy and ridiculous. I’m sure I’m leaving out a few, but you get the idea.

Genevieve Burgess is also open to backup teams to root for after the UMNT go down.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.