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Middle Schoolers are Terrible Candidates for Super Powers

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 10, 2014 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 10, 2014 |

Bones on Fox at 8:00pm ET. Now that Almost Human has finished, Bones is back to a non-Friday night slot. I appreciate the effort, but I’m pretty sure that the time apart has damaged our relationship irreparably.

Bates Motel on A&E at 9:00pm ET.

RuPaul’s Drag Race on Logo at 9:00pm ET.

Archer: Archer Vice on FX at 10:00pm ET.

Believe on NBC at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere on a special night and time. Magic little girls: I keep getting older, this sci-fi trope stays the same age. I assure any aspiring writers out there that the ages of 9-14 are not some kind of magical super-powered state while a female child balances between girlhood and womanhood. They’re mostly filled with uncomfortable growth spurts and really confusing mood swings. The tagline for the show is fairly ridiculous too, as it’s all about how “one girl can change the world.” Yes, obviously if that “one girl” has goddamned SUPER POWERS then she will be able to change the world quite easily. Frankly, it’d be downright disappointing if she didn’t manage to change something.

Genevieve Burgess had only one super power as a middle schooler, and that was demolishing a pizza and growing an inch taller overnight. She still has that ability, but that extra inch doesn’t go to her height anymore.

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.

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