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James Patterson Now Slapping His Name on TV Shows He Didn't Write

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | June 30, 2015 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | June 30, 2015 |

FIFA Women’s World Cup on Fox at 6:00pm ET. The game actually starts at 7pm local time in Montreal, and the US is facing off against Germany so get out your most patriotic gear and your most hackneyed WWII insults.

1913: Seeds of Conflict on PBS at 9:00pm ET.

Zoo on CBS at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. An adaptation of a “James Patterson novel” written by Michael Ledwidge about animals actively attacking human beings. Apparently it’s pretty schlocky, but I would think “James Patterson novel” would have tipped you off to that. Looks like good viewing if you’re a fan of SyFy’s original movies.

Royal Pains on USA at 10:00pm ET.

Scream on MTV at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. A new series loosely based on the movie. The girl who gets murdered in the first episode was born the year Scream 2 came out, and the actress playing the probable lead character is only two years older than the original movie. I am really not sure what the target audience is for this, nostalgic Gen X’ers/Millennials who are going to feel super old watching these children act out a watered down version of Scream, or the younger generation I call “Digital Natives” who probably wonder why no one in the original movie used their cell phone to call for help.

Genevieve Burgess does enjoy explaining to teenagers about how life worked before smart phones. It’s like telling ghost stories to Girl Scouts.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.