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I'm Shocked There's Not a Branded Wine Tie-In

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | September 25, 2014 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | September 25, 2014 |

Bones on Fox at 8:00pm ET. 10th season premiere.

Grey’s Anatomy on ABC at 8:00pm ET. 11th season premiere. WILL MEREDITH AND DERRICK GET DIVORCED?!? I vote yes. Shonda Rhimes doesn’t really create relationship tension without big events like marriages, babies, or break-ups. So they’re either going to break up or have another baby. Or one of them will die. I won’t be watching, because I’ll be too busy writing fan fic about Christina’s fabulous life in Switzerland away from all those fools.

Thursday Night Football: NY Giants at Washington DC on CBS at 8:25pm ET.

Scandal on ABC at 9:00pm ET. Fourth season premiere. WHERE IS OLIVIA POPE!?! Hopefully somewhere realizing that carrying on with a married man who frequently insults her and who she gets into regular screaming matches with isn’t a good life plan! That’d be cool. That or finding Fitz’s eyebrows, either one would make me pretty happy, honestly.

How To Get Away With Murder on ABC at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. Now, considering that Grey’s got bumped to the early slot, I’m guessing this show is going to be just a touch racy. I hope I’m right. Viola Davis stars as a criminal defense professor who becomes involved with a murder plot on campus along with her students. Also starring Alfred Enoch, who played Dean Thomas in the Harry Potter movies, and Matt McGorry who plays Bennett in Orange is the New Black.

Genevieve Burgess is just going to begin calling Thursday “Shondanight.”

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.