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I'd Ask You to Raise a Glass, But I Suspect You Already Have

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 31, 2015 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | March 31, 2015 |

Fresh Off the Boat on ABC at 8:00pm ET.

The Dovekeepers on CBS at 9:00pm ET. Original mini-series premiere. This miniseries stars Cote de Pablo, Kathryn Prescott, and Rachel Brosnahan and is based on the book by Alice Hoffman about the siege of Masada. This means that Cote de Pablo is once again playing an ethnically Jewish woman which is sort of an interesting niche for a Latina actress to fall into. But I know how hard it is to find Jewish actresses in Hollywood. Also, all the information I’ve read about this indicates that this story is primarily about women, but the promos sure do go out of their way to highlight the dudes as though they’re main characters as well. Curious.

Weird Loners on Fox at 9:30pm ET. Series premiere. A new series starring Zachary Knighton of Happy Endings about ANOTHER group of off-beat friends navigating the confusing world of interpersonal relationships while they live together in a townhouse in Queens. First of all, I would like to commend the show-runners for realizing that Brooklyn is becoming just as unaffordable as Manhattan and moving their “poor” characters to a slightly cheaper borough. I will now take back that commendation given the inevitability of hijinks, which are the only sure thing in the sitcom world as they tend to have neither death nor taxes unless they serve a temporary plot point.

Justified on FX at 10:00pm ET.

Cougar Town on TBS at 10:30pm ET. Series finale. Aw, say goodbye to your favorite little show with a terrible title.

Genevieve Burgess will one day take up the sword and accept her life’s mission to rid the world of mediocre, pointless hijinks.

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Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.