Bachelor in Paradise on ABC at 8:00pm ET. Fourth season premiere. This is the season where they had to create literal sex police due to an “incident” that WILL be included in the broadcast. I had a lot of questions at the time and kinda still do, but there’s no way they’d answer any of them on the show, so I’m still not gonna watch.
Shadowhunters on Freeform at 8:00pm ET. Second season finale.
Preacher on AMC at 9:00pm ET.
I Hart Food on Food Network at 10:00pm ET. Series premiere. I’m assuming all of you were fans of the excellent My Drunk Kitchen, where the lovely Hannah Hart got drunk and tried to make food. That tacos episode is from six years ago, she’s been at it a while. Anyway! She has her own Food Network show now! She gets to travel around and eat stuff and I guess occasionally make it too. This is basically my dream job and the fact that it took her millions of YouTube views over the last several years to get it is crushing a dream that I was already pretty sure was impossible. Guys, no one is ever going to pay me to travel around and eat stuff. This is sad.
The Gong Show on ABC at 10:01pm ET. I got really confused looking at the guest list because I confused Jack Black and Jack White again and was like “Who’s holding Jack White’s kid hostage to get him to do this?” and then reality slid back into place and I realized my mistake.